SPWF MWI - Met While Incarcerated

SPWF MWI - Met While Incarcerated

A group for couples who met during incarceration
This is a public group.

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About

Couples who met while incarcerated (MWI) face a different set of issues and additional judgment from those on the outside. Whether you met through a prison penpal ad, a friend, relative or cellmate; your relationship is just as beautiful as any one else. This is a support group for our SPWF MWI members.

Latest Activity

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    Zawjah Mahmud
    Zawjah Mahmud is now a member of SPWF MWI - Met While Incarcerated.
    4 days ago
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    Beautiful Disaster
    Beautiful Disaster is now a member of SPWF MWI - Met While Incarcerated.
    12 days ago
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    Leila
    Leila is now a member of SPWF MWI - Met While Incarcerated.
    28 days ago
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    twinkle
    twinkle commented on the group SPWF MWI - Met While Incarcerated's wall:
    Hi Sunshine. I'm sorry you are going through this. I wish I could give you some advice but I'm not sure what will happen with your visits. I think you just need to cherish your phone calls and letters. Is there anyway that he could transfer to ...
    29 days ago
    • Sunshine
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      Sunshine Thank you and I appreciate your response! He did get transferred but the restriction is state wide!
      28 days ago
    • Sunshine
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      Sunshine I absolutely and beyond grateful for the letters and phone calls!
      28 days ago
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    Sunshine
    Sunshine commented on the group SPWF MWI - Met While Incarcerated's wall:
    Hello ladies, I am feeling so hopeless and depressed. I met my loved one at the facility I worked at, we connected and began a relationship. We came under investigation and I eventually resigned. I now have visiting restrictions indefinitely. We ...
    29 days ago
    • Tommie
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      Tommie Good morning Sunshine--- Although I didn't meet my husband at a jail/prison, but being married to one with such an unfavorable past, has made me look at dating, love, relationship, marriage a whole lot different, it doesn't come with fairy tale endings, it comes with lots of compromises, sacrifices and a series of tests. And considering what my 4 kids and I been through, would I also be the strong woman he so looked and prayed for?? Yes, I have and I tell ya doing 4.5 with someone with a criminal past wasn't and hasn't always been easy. There were so many times I wanted to leave him and start my life over, fresh, w/o all the hassle and "what if's" but instead I let go my anxiety, anger, animosity (of him not telling me about his past and we've dated only mos until he turned himself in) and prayed to God to give me the strength I need to endure this life w/o him, the temporary separation. Like you, I felt like I was the one doing the time with him and anxiously waiting for it all to be over. How did I survive? Well keeping busy, with my schooling (didn't work at the time) and took care of the household, bills, groceries, money for him etc.. and of course stumbling across this site made me look at life from a whole different angle. You're at the right place, and here is where you'll find lots of love, support and encouragement from other women and myself and even though it's not always easy to deal with at times, it's good to know that you'll always have us to lean on even when everyone else in your circle may think/feel otherwise whether it may be friends, neighbors, coworkers, family, etc.. they may feel as though you could do so much better with someone who has it all together and who's not coming at you with a past like that, but you love him no matter what for better or worse, you're always there, his queen who's looking to be and always stay strong. So sorry for the long post, stay connected with him letters, visits, phone calls, emails bc believe or not that makes a difference in their lives, invest in the time for you too okay. You have a great am and ttys okay. Love always, Tommie~~~~~.
      28 days ago
    • Sunshine
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      Sunshine Thank you so much for this post! I appreciate all the advice and it helps to know others have been through this and made it. I felt so depressed when I heard the word indefinite suspension but I am learning that almost everyone gets indefinite initially and then appeals for a set shorter time. I am praying that this is the case for us. I am so grateful for your support and taking the time to respond. This life can be very isolating and this page is a lifesaver. I agree with you a hundred percent that this lifestyle makes you look at relationships and love very differently. People that haven’t lived it could never understand! I feel that in this situation or love, loyalty, and trust have been tested almost immediately in a way that a traditional relationship may not necessarily develop for years. How have you coped with having a husband that has a criminal background once he got home? In so many ways.. like judgement from others and knowing who and what to tell, him trying to find a job, feeling like you are being judged for his crime possibly. I am trying very hard to stay strong and I find him telling me to be positive and giving support when he is the one incarcerated. I need and want to be strong for him. I also have a young son I have to take care of and I worry about how others will judge me as a mother with these decisions. I would never put my child in danger if I didn’t think he was safe I would never have pursued this! Thoughts and prayers for you and your loved one also !
      28 days ago
    • Hilarya93
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      Hilarya93 Agreed!! When I started working there, people used to always tease me about "don't fall in love with an inmate!"; I always said "dont worry, why the hell would I want a man in prison??". UNTIL, I met Jon! I have never met someone so incredible in my life and I now know you can't help who your heart falls in love with. It's a hard life, but I wouldn't change it for the world!
      28 days ago
    • Sunshine
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      Sunshine Yes I feel the same way! If someone told me a year ago I would be in this situation I would have laughed! As crazy as this all is, I adore and love him... that’s the pure and simple part!
      23 days ago
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    D
    D is now a member of SPWF MWI - Met While Incarcerated.
    1 month ago
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    BearBear
    BearBear is now a member of SPWF MWI - Met While Incarcerated.
    1 month ago
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    Panda Bear
    Panda Bear is now a member of SPWF MWI - Met While Incarcerated.
    1 month ago
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    Godisforus82
    Godisforus82 is now a member of SPWF MWI - Met While Incarcerated.
    1 month ago
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    Val
    Val is now a member of SPWF MWI - Met While Incarcerated.
    1 month ago
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    MrsMigo
    MrsMigo is now a member of SPWF MWI - Met While Incarcerated.
    1 month ago
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    Jams girl
    Jams girl is now a member of SPWF MWI - Met While Incarcerated.
    1 month ago
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    Marie
    Marie is now a member of SPWF MWI - Met While Incarcerated.
    1 month ago
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    Marie
    Marie is now a member of SPWF MWI - Met While Incarcerated.
    1 month ago
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    GinaKay
    GinaKay is now a member of SPWF MWI - Met While Incarcerated.
    2 months ago

Member

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The Wall

710 Wall Posts

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  • twinkle
    by twinkle 29 days ago
    Hi Sunshine. I'm sorry you are going through this. I wish I could give you some advice but I'm not sure what will happen with your visits. I think you just need to cherish your phone calls and letters. Is there anyway that he could transfer to another prison? Would it be possible to get visits if that happened?
  • Sunshine
    by Sunshine 29 days ago
    Hello ladies, I am feeling so hopeless and depressed. I met my loved one at the facility I worked at, we connected and began a relationship. We came under investigation and I eventually resigned. I now have visiting restrictions indefinitely. We have to appeal but I am
    Just so discouraged and sad. We do have the phone and letters. I am not proud of the things that have happened in the way they did but I love this man with all my heart. So many issues I am struggling with... waiting to hear if they are going to press any criminal charges, seeing if I am going to lose my license, and now the issue with the visits. Has anyone been through anything like this ? Also, has anyone ever had their visits restricted and then allowed to go back? Looking for support please I am heartbroken.
  • Sunshine
    by Sunshine 2 months ago
    I'm feeling kind of down and depressed and somewhat hopeless about the situation I am in currently. I'm looking for encouragement from other prison wives. I left the facility where I met my loved one to continue our relationship, especially once people became suspicious and started investigating. Currently I would not be allowed to visit and not sure for how long. The frustrating thing is that Letters and pictures I have sent (not specifically addressed for me or pictures of me that are identifiable.) They went into his cell and took just those specifically and gave him a slip saying that he did NOT have any contraband but have taken them. He wants to write them up and file grievances but is fearful about retaliation. He also worries they would set him up and cause trouble like they have in the past. He hasn't had any issues in several years. Right now I feel like I will never get to see my love. Right now even the letters are causing issues. I do get phone calls but who knows for how long now. I am fearful for his safety as well. Words of encouragement and advice greatly appreciated!
  • Sunshine
    by Sunshine 2 months ago
    I was curious to know of other prison wives that know of any advocacy groups to help if you are having trouble visiting your loved one and knowing your rights. Also, knowing how to advocate if your loved one is having issues inside the facility. Thank you!
  • Brooke
    by Brooke 2 months ago
    Hey ladies, i dont get on much between work full time and college, but i have a question? As long as me and the hubby are in the same state, there is no reason his PO officer wouldn't let him come home right? Can any1 answer this for me. About a year he'll be home so i just need some reassurrance.. Thanks ladies, much love.
  • Lady wild
    by Lady wild 2 months ago
    Hey ladies I'm back . I need to get on here more often but I'm 27 so I'm doing a lot of things . I met my baby through a friend . We was friends 4 or 5 years while he was incarcerated. I stop talking to him 2 year because we lost contact but once we got bk in contact we took it to the next level. I had problems with girls , they call my fone from Facebook ,all type of shit. I just recommended us to back friends but we both had already felt in love . He prove many times it's nothing but I still accept his apology and told him we been friends for many years , I rather us keep our friendship then mess it over with some bullshit. I knew about the girls in the past. So I just had some insecurities about now that we transition over to the new stage of love. We almost have the same birthday. We are 1 day apart and I saw him this past weekend and it was amazing. I have seen him in 3 months haven't touch him in 8 months due to a write up and they took visitation away , no drama since march and I'm really super excited. Our bond is crazy . We like the same things and our birthdays is 9/11 and 9/12. I'm really happy and very content . I think we had to get an understanding about each other on a different level. Because it was rocky as first . But now I'm so happy, I'm just waiting on him to get out and he wants to get married while I'm there, that's another thing I'm ready for but I don't know he is, I'm really waiting on him to do the paper work because that's when I know he is serious .
  • kkadam
    by kkadam 2 months ago
    Hey Bee nice to hear from you. Sounds like we need a one on one miss lady, I'll message you this week or next I been down with these migraines, and Sunday is Adams last day on parole so I want to do something nice for him. He jumped through all their hoops and did great!!!! Just waiting for someone to give him a call about a job. So I'll get with you
  • Bee
    by Bee 2 months ago
    Hey everyone, I was offline for a while, I'm so happy people are posting in here!! I love reading updates and intros. So far, shit has been rough and has changed a ton! So this is my update, we met through a pen pal site, wrote for a few months, exchanged numbers, he called for the first time back in May. We made it official around cinco de mayo. I fell in love with him by July. I'm not even ashamed. I was super worried about his sincerity and wanted to be sure he was 100% with me. By mid July I was approved for visit. I went to visit him and it was amazing. His energy and our connection was so spot on. That was the 1st day we told each other we loved one another. Even if we didn't work out, I will always love him. The relationship we have, the things we talk about, ect.. He's a good ass friend of mine. He is in a fire camp. It being summer means he's gone all the time. When we first started writing, he told me he could be gone for up to 2 months at a time..If I didn't hear from him he is at a fire. Never to worry and he'd be back. Or he would try to call (if it was a planned trip) the day before..He called me twice this month and sent a letter. Actually since August. I've heard from him twice. It is horrible. I wrote him a letter a few months back and he responded with no answers to the questions I asked. I like to know about past relationships, how long they last and what the weak points are. It kind of tells character, you know? A few other things really bothered me too. But he assured me that he didn't respond about his past relationship because it was over and in the past, He doesn't want to bring it to his current, it doesn't matter. I guess that makes sense also. We still haven't been able to clear up the other stuff because he called on night to tell me he was leaving to a fire really early and I didn't want to bring any negative up, I was just super happy to hear his voice. I'm out of that "new", fresh, unknown, obsessed, sort of mindset now, So I'm not all dreamy and unsure about him. He has 14 months to go, has all of these plans and goals, but I don't fall into them. I mean it would be nice but people change and I have to remind myself that I could be the one to change also. Not focus or worry that he would be the one to change on me. I think a lot of us fear that we'll hold them down and they'll bail on us after all the wait. But WE can be the ones that change lol. I ended up breaking up with him through a letter because I didn't know when I'd hear from him again. I needed closure because of my doubts and naturally I ended things before he did or had the chance to hurt me, I was in this angry, swarm of emotions, thinking with the smallest part of my brain. The day he got the letter was the day he got back from fire. He called me and was freaking out. He said no fucking I could leave him, we laughed about everything was going down. I realized I was being extremely self involved and jumping to conclusions. We soo need a visit after this. Oh, one thing that was reassuring and made me feel a connection to his home life was meeting his friends in person. I always read about people talking with their loved ones families and felt left out or like that meant something more. So meeting his friends kind of did that. He was super jealous his friends got to see me and he didn't.. I should get a visit in October again once the fires are gone. I'll update once we start talking again.
  • Sunshine
    by Sunshine 2 months ago
    @Adee.... welcome! How great for you that you have been able to visit and do the video visits! Those must be amazing! Trust me.. you are definitely not alone in your journey! How did your family react to all of this? I have only told about three people. They are loving but of course concerned I had lost my mind! Stay safe with the weather!
  • Sunshine
    by Sunshine 2 months ago
    Hello ladies and hope you are all having a wonderful day!! Hello there,

    I am an MWI of eleven months. Due to recent circumstances, we are waiting for visitation once he is transferred.... who knows how long that can. Just wondering how long anyone has gone without being able to visit and how did you cope with it? I believe is our relationship... I just want to stay as strong as possible, positive , and of course continue to grow our relationship. Thank you