Apr 26th

Congratulations Mr & Mrs. Reed - Sign Jo's Virtual Guest Book

By Ro ❤ CoFounder/President

Today,  our beautiful Jo is getting married.  Since most of us can only be there in spirit,  please sign this virtual guest book with your well wishes for the couple.  I'll be back to update this post with pretty pics and more love later but wanted to get started.  Send our beautiful bride and her handsome groom some love in the comments below.

Dec 12th

Gettin' the Ugly Out

By Jo_Reed
Today, I wanted to share with y'all my thoughts on the "ugly" side of this life. In the past, I've posted about finding the blessings, making a conscious decision to be grateful and staying positive in our actions and words while we walk this road. I've posted about my fear of honesty; "letting people in" only to lose them to judgment, scorn or negativity because of what they think about Ben, or me for LOVING Ben. I had to get some other things out of my head this morning though and y'all know if it's coming from me, it's not always pretty but it's always REAL! So here goes...

I think sometimes we sell ourselves this idea that in order to be "good" wives or girlfriends or loved ones, we always have to be POSITIVE, STRONG and SUPPORTIVE.  We have to "put up with" the struggles we go through with a smile on our face and a swing in our step, showing everybody a great example of what REAL loyalty and love look like. And don't get me twisted; those things are vitally important. You won't get far in this life if you're a negative person or a neurotic worrywart or constantly insecure. We've all seen the people who talk a good game about how they have their loved one's back but in reality, it's anything BUT! And we roll our eyes at them and keep doing our thing, reassured by each other that it IS possible to do this not only "well" but triumphantly!  (Thank goodness for each other, my LORD)

Every once in a while though, here's where I'm at. I am ANGRY. I am SAD. I am LONELY. I am OVERWHELMED. I am even (gasp!) RESENTFUL. I am INSECURE. I am WORRIED.  ALL of the ugly emotions I never want to admit I have and try very hard to pretend I don't - to others, to Ben and to myself. Except that when I "stuff" those things down and try to ignore them, they always seem to bubble to the top during really inconvenient moments. Like when I'm exploding on somebody who has absolutely nothing to do with any of it. Or when I'm sobbing into my pillow even though I need sleep. Or when I'm distracted at work. Or when I'm wishing somebody in line at the grocery store would "give me a fucking reason". Ya know - THOSE moments...

Just me? (Listening to the sound of crickets) Maybe. But I doubt it.

So here's what I've got.
JUST FOR TODAY, I'm giving myself permission to be HUMAN. My Superwoman cape is going to the dry cleaners. I am crawling into bed with a cup of hot tea, some Netflix and a fluffy blanket and I am unplugging from the world. I'm even (oh, the ultimate sin amongst "prison wives") TURNING OFF MY PHONE. Because I just cannot DEAL today. And that's OK. Really. It is. Ignore the panic attack you're having...it TOTALLY is.

Today, I'm going to admit that I am PISSED OFF at this man for NOT BEING HERE. Unfair? Yes. Totally. True? Also, yes. I have been sick for three days and now one of the boys is sick, and I had to reschedule an important medical procedure and cancel all our fun plans for the weekend and I'm sitting around completely overwhelmed by a dirty house and it would be REALLY FUCKING NICE if my partner was here to take SOME of this load. And, oh look, he very nicely scheduled a video visit that I have to not only pay extra for, but find time to look nice for and make time for in the middle of my damn day. THANKS, dude. Really. And you're going to make some joke about what I'm getting you for Christmas that any other time would get a laugh, but today I'm going to have to work really hard not to bite your head off and call you names.

Today, I'm going to admit that I'm sick of waiting. I wait on letters. I wait on emails and calls. I wait to have enough money for visits. I wait on "Uncle Sam" to tell me where my next assignment will be and for how long and whether there will even BE an assignment. Waiting on judicial measures. Parole. Release date. Job. Place to live. ('cause oh, yes, let's discuss that finding all that stuff for the parole board to accept his request to move on an interstate compact will be on ME, before he even hits the gate, since I really don't have ENOUGH to do just taking care of myself here...) Just...waiting. Hoping the right answers will present themselves, in the right way, at the right time, to make all this work. Hoping he won't be a statistic. Hoping this whole long, lonely, seemingly endless stretch of time won't have been for nothing.

Today, I'm going to admit that I worry. A lot. About myself. Am I strong enough to do this? We go day-by-day here because I really can't wrap my head around how much longer we do have to go. Should I put my life on hold this way? Should I plan for a future that's going to have just as many challenges as the present? What if my family NEVER accepts him? I'm insanely close to my loved ones. Can I handle them ALWAYS hating this? How does that affect my kids? How does that affect US? What if it REALLY does turn out to be "us" against the world? Can I DO that? SHOULD I?
About Ben. He's not away at summer camp. It's a tough place. He does his best to stay out of the mix but what if he can't? God forbid something happen to my HEART. I can't even entertain that thought. He's got a long way to go. He admits that he gets depressed. Feels the urge to disconnect sometimes, even from me, to protect his own mental health. Fears that these last few years will "change" him to the point where he just doesn't know how to function in society because he's so institutionalized. Worries about old temptations that will destroy what we've built. Wants to give up when he thinks about how hard it may be to get ahead and succeed in life with the label of "convicted felon" following him everywhere he goes. Can I keep him motivated and focused? Is that even my responsibility? He's a grown man. Where's the line between understanding where he's at and "putting up with" any occasional temper tantrums he throws about stupid shit, especially if it means he doesn't pick up extra time by popping off and losing his cool with his celly or a C/O? How much tough love is too much? How much patience is too much? What is being a partner and what's just making excuses? Where's the line?

Today I'm going to admit that I'm tired of being strong. I just want to cry. I want to grab my keys and take the boys to stay with my folks and go on vacation to a deserted island. I am sick of being all things to all people all the time and nobody ever even pausing to ask how I'm doing before they "pile on" with their needs for help, advice, comfort, aid and support. I'm tired of telling God how much I trust Him to take care of us and work things out in His time, because I'm impatient and I want my man home and I want to be able to at least have SOMETHING I can do, and put my hands on and control. I'm sick of being at the MERCY of the telephone system, the mail system, the justice system, the military system...I'm just DONE. I want to unplug and not plug back in again. I want to WALLOW. Except that I can't. Because there's too much to do and I'm the only one willing and able to do it. And I'm tired of that TOO.

Where do I go to RESIGN?!?!

WHOO! That feels GOOD, to pour all that out. It doesn't change a damn thing, but if even one person out there this morning went, "Oh, my god, somebody finally admitted it - ME TOO!!!" then it was worth it.  And I bet if I'm right, there was MORE than one. Maybe 10. Maybe 100. Who knows? Either way, know this. YOU ARE NOT ALONE. And it's OK. We ALL feel that way. Sometimes not even for 1 day. More like several in a row! Sometimes, crazy as it makes us feel, we even feel that way in the morning and by noon we're fine and then we're all "verklempt" again in the evening! (Ben has been known to tell me, "God may have made women strong but he SURE never made them simple!")

So how do we get PAST it? Out the other side of the ugly and towards the light again? (Trust me, this is about the only acceptable "go towards the light" scenario...) Here are a few things that work for me.

TAKE TIME OFF. Growing up in my family, we had what we called the "24-hour rule". If something bad happened, you had 24 hours in which to whine, moan, cry, complain, bitch and be generally unpleasant to everybody around you while they avoided you or catered to your emotions. After that? Time was UP. You were expected to take a deep breath, crawl out from under the covers, put your big girl panties on, wash your face and throw your shoulders back and carry on living and being PLEASANT. People would still support you but nobody else was going to sit around and be at the mercy of your ugliness. Now in this life, it's very rarely one big, bad thing. It's more like several, constant little annoying things! Given that fact, I try to reserve my "24 hours" for times when something unusal has happened. Lockdown. Transfer. Visit cancelation. Technical difficulties during a video visit. Bad news from the lawyer. The "bigger" stuff. It doesn't always happen that way. (Thankfully, we're in a pretty "stable" situation right now). This week, for example, it was cumulative and today was the "straw that broke the camel's back". I realized this when I spilled some dog food this morning and started yelling. AT THE DOG. Like she was going to DO something about it. (She did - she looked at me crazy and then licked my face while I cried). Seriously, though. Cussin' out a Pomeranian. That was the point where I stopped myself with, "And...somebody 'round here needs to get a grip..." and my "timeclock" started. TAKE YOUR 24 HOURS. (You can even give yourself 48-72. If the people around you will put up with you for that long, it'll be our little secret)

PRAY. Oh, my word. I can't stress this enough. I know not everybody who uses this forum is of a spiritual bent, but plenty of us are. It's an invaluable resource (check out the Prayer Groups if you haven't already) for a lot of us. Even in there, though, we sometimes get so stuck on encouragement mode that I think we can be a little scared to be "real" with each other about anything we're struggling with. And let's face it, even as much as we trust one another, there are some things that are REALLY personal and just between us/our loved one/God. But I PROMISE y'all, my Father in Heaven REGULARLY gets an earful. I pour my heart out to him and sometimes, it's praise and worship. It's always thanksgiving - eventually. In the middle, well...let's just say I'm glad He hasn't seen fit to reach down from Heaven with a big 'ol bottle of Dawn dishwashing soap the way my mother used to, because some of the words I use aren't real holy! And I think that's OK. He loves us and created us and has a Father's heart for us and our men - I really don't think He's the LEAST BIT intimidated by our fear, anger, worry and unbelief. I do know He wants to carry it ALL for us, if we let Him. I don't always feel like going to church. I don't always feel like reading my Bible or listening to worship music. But on my worst days, I go out and sit in the Jeep where I can have a little privacy and I turn up the radio so I don't get arrested for schizophrenia and I YELL AT GOD. And I CRY. And I let go of EVERY BIT of poison in my heart and trust that HE IS WHO HE SAYS HE IS. (It took me a LONG time to get there, and if you're not there yet, that's OK too - ask Him. He'll show you. I promise that.) I tend to hang onto stuff much longer than I should and THEN hand it over, but it gets done and it always helps.

LEAN. Oh, my darlin's. It can feel like we have absolutely NOBODY who understands what we go through. The great news is, it's not TRUE! Use this forum! Look online for support groups in your area (Meetup.com is a great place to start). Gather around you like GOLD a few trusted friends in your area you can share your heart with. Talk to random people in chat rooms (Kidding! Don't do that! ICK). But seriously, understand that it's VITAL to have folks you can occasionally just fall down around, who will pick you up and steady you until you get your feet back under you. Even your incarcerated partner/loved one! Really! It was mentioned in another great blog a while ago that even though they're men in prison, they're still OUR men and they still very much want to be involved and feel like they're strong enough to protect us and take care of us when we need them. Now, I'm not sayin' we should dump all the drama on them just because they're a captive audience. That's hardly fair. But, here's an example. Just this past week, I was having a really rough day after a fight with a friend, and I was still upset about it when Ben called. He asked why I sounded tense and I "unloaded" on him about it. He sat and listened, offered his perspective and support and then did his best to present a solution. As he did, I LITERALLY felt the weight leaving my shoulders, because here was my PARTNER, helping me. It was just like having a long day and coming in the door tired and frustrated and having him there, pulling me into his arms and holding me until I felt better. It was awesome. It also made me realize he still WANTS to be able to do that, in the only way he can and I don't HAVE to "handle" everything alone. (He and I have also developed a "warning" system we use for things that I DON'T particularly need him to "do" anything about. I type *VENT* before whatever I'm pissy about and then *VENT OVER* at the end of it, so he knows he doesn't have to "fix" it and I'm just gettin' it out of my system. That's caused way less stress for us both. Go ahead and steal that one, if it helps. Sometimes he knows he just needs to be my sounding board and NOT my "rescuer".)

Man alive, there is NOTHING EASY about all this mess, is there? But those three things, combined with a wicked sense of humor and the occasional bottle of wine (just keepin' it real), DO help to get me through. I'm COMPLETELY grateful for y'all, who keep me inspired and motivated and encouraged and laughing until I snort every day! And it means a lot to know that even on days I'm not ANY of those things, I still have a strong support system waiting for me when I crawl out from UNDER the bed. HANG IN THERE, sweet ladies! BRIGHTER DAYS ARE COMING. I'm even cautiously optimistic that the light at the end of the tunnel isn't an oncoming train. Pass the Girl Scout cookies. Let's do this.

Much love,
Jo



Feb 11th

I wish I knew...

By Misty

Somedays it feels like I know everything about him, he's my love and my best friend and I know his heart and mind inside and out. Other days I feel like I'm missing so much. What does he look like when he's sleeping? Does he have table manners? Will he like my cooking? How would a real hug from him feel, one that isn't supervised or limited by time? Is he a good driver? Would he take his boots off when he comes inside the house to keep the floor clean? Will he put the toilet seat down?

Our relationship is real, our life together is real, it's not a fantasy. He told me in his third letter to me that he wasn't interested in a fantasy relationship. By the end of this year I'll be his wife and it seems like there are things I should know between now and then. None of the answers to those questions would change my mind about him, I just wish I knew.

I watch his favorite TV shows in the evening (right now it's The Bachelor). I've changed my diet to be more like his, he's a vegetarian. I listen to his sweet 70s love songs over and over again and imagine myself dancing with him. I keep his pictures on my phone. As I fall asleep I lay the phone on the pillow next to me with my favorite picture of him on it. The screen goes dark and I tap it over and over again so the picture stays on there. I hear a lot of people say nighttime is the hardest, but when the house is quiet and I'm alone I can almost feel him laying next to me.

I guess I'm wondering what everyone else does to feel closer?

Oct 28th

I let him go.

By Jonswife
Today I let him go. 
I let him walk away.
I started to panic and I started to cry I thought my world would end and I thought I might die.
But I did't.
There were nights when I wished I had, without his voice and without the love.
He found someone else he found the girl he thinks he's been dreaming  of his whole life.
What kind of love would I have for him if I wished him the worst.
My heart says I hope she leaves and I hope she disappoints you I hope she builds you up and lets you fall, so you can feel my pain and my hurt. 
I felt like I failed, but i didn't I never failed him and to this day I haven't.
He failed me, he didn't choose me even when I held on and I begged him not to leave.
He walked away today and I watched him leave, He said he was sorry but I dont know if that's the truth.
I wont lie I have a sorted past I have done things I regret and I wish I hadn't, but I gave all of that up for him.
I needed a reason to change and I found it in him and he hates me for everything I trusted him with. The things he said were true but hurtful none the less.
He was my safe place My comfort he said we would mourn together a loss that wasn't my fault. A mistake made before him but come to light when I needed him most.
I was wrong and he turned out to be what everyone said. He cheated, He lied, and He used me. and some how I love him the same . These  cuts will turn to scars like the rest but until then they bleed.
 
 Signed- The fuck up that broke his heart (or so he says)
Dec 4th

celibacy… I can get used to it lol

By Ms.Santiago731
So I held out for as long as I could without any type of activity because one I want a toy and two I wanted my man but tonight was different from others… I have not had an orgasm since the day Reymundo got arrested and I held out for as long as I could but I couldn't take it…. Hell no I aint cheat on him thats suicide lol…i had to woman up and do it on my own…the whole time I kept saying I wish you were here… of course I want the real thing and I miss him so very much… but I'm gonna uphold my promise and just do it myself for the next 600 and sumthing days…will I be fustrated…uh yeah...but i have a great man who is behind bars that I will not let down and I will be in this house screaming that mans name like he's still here…. Yes I get tested and I turn all advances down… so how will I cope??? Unlike those damned lifetime prison wives I'll just do it my damned self until oct 2016!! Yes the road is rough and there are men out here walking free I say FUCK THAT DON'T STEP TO ME IF YA NAME AINT REYMUNDO I BELONG TO HIM ALL 108 LBS OF ME
Apr 1st

Food for Thought

By Admin Lauren

In the last 11 months I have heard not so great things about the meals they serve. I am pretty sure he keeps telling himself the food is good just so he doesn't go hungry. I find it entertaining that on holidays they give them "special" meals. At least that is what he calls them. He quickly follows that with all they do is switch the good meal of the week and serve it on the holiday like we are dumb and don't notice. During one of our recent conversations he told me he wanted to make a special meal for that Sunday. I of course asked what that would be. The thought of his answer was a little repulsive but I kept quiet. He proceeded to go on and on about this meal that was his favorite making me feel bad for being repulsed in the first place. By the end of that conversation he was sending me the commissary list and I was going to go to the grocery store to buy the same ingredients so we could have dinner together one night. Totally got suckered. Anyway I received the list a few days later and headed to the grocery store. When I got there, unlike the commissary there were mulitple selections of each ingredient. I wasn't sure exactly what to get so I did not get anything. Tomorrow I will be heading back to the store with the exact list of things to get. I am not sure when we are going to have this dinner but this is what is on the menu:

Fried rice with clams, oysters, mackerel and summer sausage

It is ok if you just made a face I did too considering all of this is out of cans. I was okay until the sausage (it doesn't seem to fit). Of course I know it is not going to be nearly as good as if he was to make it but I am willing to try it for him. Next time I get to pick dinner and I am thinking nachos. What I am wondering is have any of you ladies ever tried to make a version of something they make? If so what was it and did you like it?

On that note...wish me luck!!!

Mar 1st

my boyfriend is in jail , I don't know what to do. I really need advice

By Wendy

my boyfriend is in jail , he's been in their for about 3 months ,we were going to get back together before they arrested him. One of his friends had texted me saying he needed my number so he can call me , but it had been almost 2 months since I had talked to him because his been in jail , I didn't have anyway to contact him he didn't have a way either. But finally he had got my number , I was waiting all day for him to call literally. Me and him have been through hell and back , always on and off. He means the world to me , I love him so much. but finally I had got his call and I was so happy to hear his voice.  He told me " I've been thinking about you like crazy it's been crazying me insane, you don't understand how much I miss you " he loves me , he do anyhing for me , whatever I needed he would get it. We started talking and he said " you better not be talking to anyone " but I haven't , I couldn't , I thought those 2 months he didn't want anything to do with me so I tried to move on but I just couldn't. But now I know he's been wanting to talk to me. Which makes me very happy. But I don't know how long he's going to be in their , he did armed robbery , I don't know the whole situation I just know why his in jail. But I miss him so much , I love him more then anything. But those 30 mins calls just kill me , I wish I could just hug , kiss him. I just think can I really wait YEARS for him? Everytime the call ends , I cry so much , and I never cry. But something about him doesn't want me to let go. I want to show him I am the only female who is going to hold it down for him. I've been loyal. It's not hard being loyal but it's hard being loyal to someone who is in jail. Not being able to text them , see him. Just a 30 min call. It kills me inside , it really does  , I just don't want to let go. and I know he loves me a lot. Everyone tells me to just let go , because it's " jail talk " I'm waiting to get a call from him Wednesday , and I'm going to ask him what does he want me to do , does he want me to stay loyal and hold it down , or is it better just to end things.i know if I let go , it will tear me up inside. He even said " you're going to let me marry you , right " those words are stuck in my head. I miss my baby so much.

Mar 7th

Would you?

By Holly
If you could trade places with your loved one for 24 hours... Would you?

My first thought is, of course I would! But really, truly think about it. I've worked in a correctional environment before so I truly know what goes on behind closed doors. The reality of being "trapped" with only being able to go so far scares the shit out of me.  It doesn't help that I am a tad claustrophobic and am a wee bit anti social, shy or whatever you want to call it. But in all reality I know I could handle 24 hours and absolutely would if it meant he could be free for that amount of time. 
Apr 26th

A lifer wife

By Admin JoJo Matthews

There are different types of lifer wives/girlfriends/finacess whatever the term you use.

The first one is the one that is doing a 10-25 year sentence. Depending on how old you are and where you are in your life this can be a life sentence as well even though their loved one has an actual out date. You can hang on to the hope that you will be able to spend time on the outside together, you can make plans and set goals together. Will they be exactly as you had dreamed them? Will they be exactly as you want? The answer is proabably no, exceptions will have to be made, time isn't something that is on our side and sometimes time is a controlling factor for certain things.

The second type of life wife is the one that is serving a 25-life sentence or a life with possibility of parole. I lump the two of them together because they both cling to the hope that this time they will make parole. Most of the time they will face the parole board a few times before it's granted and then when it is they live their daily lives around the constrains of parole. The above lifer wife may also have to live within the constrains of parole rules or risk violation and their loved one being sent back to prison. Goals and plans are made, they may not be exactly what you had planned or wanted but they are made anyway because it gives you something to look forward to and work towards.
They share the same end result their is hope to spend the time together on the outside.

Next is the ones serving a life without parole sentence. This is the category I fall in to. Our goals are centered around getting to certain security levels in order to gain certain privileges, contact visits, marriage, school for him, work for him, hobby craft pass so he can take up more detailed hobbies such as water color painting, etc.

We balance on a fine line of accepting the reality of the situation which is we will never spend time together outside of prison walls and holding on to hope that maybe some where down the road lawas will change and there will be a chance for him to come home to me even if it's only to spend our last few years together on this earthly planet.

As a wife I have to make plans and goals and dreams without him by my side and know that I must accomplish them with him cheering me on from the sidelines. I have to figure out how I am going to include him as much as the prison system will let me.

The final category is the death row inmate and wife, in my four years I have only encountered a small number of these ladies. I don't know if it's wheter they are few and far and in between or they just keep to themselves more. I don't know much about this one because they didn't share much. All I know is that you have to be pretty hard core and dedicated. Don't get me wrong all prison wives are hard core and dedicated but a death row wife is a whole other level. They will unless the sentence is commutated to a life sentence or the inmate is exonerated will never have contact visits, will have limited visits a week which is usally once a week for two hours. Privileges are slim to none they have little to work towards. Their goals are likely more aimed towards winning appeals to prevent the worst.

What makes us all the same is the love we have for the locked up ones. We all have strength we never knew we had.

The most important thing that we have in common is we are human and we have one life to live. While it may seem selfish to continue with our lives while they seemingly suffer in misery. It's not selfish, what is selfish is wallowing in pity, wasting the life away that God gave us.

The situation may suck but we can make the best of it if we only put our minds to it. While we are out here waiting for the return of our loved ones or for better visitatation we can work on ourselves. They can improve themselves as well there are resources for them on the inside they just have to ask.

This life is possible we just have to have the right state of mind and we have to make an effort to push forward when feel like we are stuck, get back up when we fall down and know that this is all part of the process of life.

Jun 22nd

Words for my past self

By Fee

There are times I sit up at night, and think about us.  The good, bad, and ugly.  I think about the reasons I chose to stay, and fight against things I neither see or understand.  I think about the people who have wasted breath to discourage me, and others who chose carefully their words, and empathized, and encouraged. There are times I think about other prison wives, and think they are absolutely crazy, and have to remind myself that we are the same.  There are times I feel I understand, and I feel myself getting stronger, and wiser, and more confident. Other times I feel weak, and self-conscious, and irresponsible. There are days I want to throw things and sought and scream, and curse him out. There are days I feel absolutely crazy, and deranged, and as if I'm living in limbo. There are more days I search for words of wisdom that speak truth, and frankness about what its like to be a prisonwife, and being open about the emotional, mental, and sometimes physical roller-coaster this journey takes you on.  Its scary that there are numbers of woman that experience this pain that's only akin to an armywife, but without the same level of respect.  And though we are encouraged to educate neigh-sayers and ignore the pessimists, its difficult to do while living in their world.  They will likely to never live in ours. I would have liked if someone, in the first 3 years had said to me, "Its okay, it happens. I've been through it too, and its tough, but you can do it." Instead, often you receive the unwanted advice of pragmatic friends and family, who "know" what's best for you, and weigh you down in the time you need the most optimism, support, and empathy. I say this, not as deterrent or discouragement, but as frankness from one prison wife to the next, saying what I wished someone said to me then.  

"It will be tough, but these things happen.  Its not your fault that it happened, and your not a bad person, or a stupid person for choosing to care about someone who is learning from their mistake. You will carry their burden as heavily as a parent would a child's, whether you want to or not, but that's how deep your connection will become.  You will feel tired, and stressed, and depressed, but you will also feel hopeful, content, and satisfied, because you get to experience levels of intimacy and connection that few people every do.  You will learn the importance of inflection, and tone, on the phone, and in writing, and when to just let it all go.  You will become sensitive to the slightest of his mood changes, and he to yours. You will learn to hide nothing. You will become a skeptic of those around you, but will learn to trust again. When you laugh with him, it will be your brightest laugh, and when you cry for him it will be your most pained. And when you pray, your heart will feel has raw as your knees, and you'll want to run from that feeling, but it is only then that you are the most honest, clearminded, and at peace. 

 

Take these words kindly past self:

1. Be sure of who you are, and hold fast to your beliefs. Let no one shake them, not even your husband. 

2. Be unafraid to say what you feel, and explain what you mean. 

3. Be the beckon for your loved one, in hope, in faith, in love.

4. Share everything.

5. Be unafraid of the doubters, because wisdom brings light to the ignorant, not vice versa. " 

 

 

 

Authors Note: I felt it was important I say things I would have liked to hear during the hardest times of my husband incarceration.  Its not over, but time, prayer, and understanding has taught me a lot. For me, sweet words sweeten the spirit, but hearty words sustain it.  Please comment with your hearty healing words.  :)

Thanks for listening.