Kaycee

Kaycee

28 years old
Female
Location
Englewood
United States
Current Status
Hi everyone, I'm really new to this as I'm sure everyone here was at one point. Lucky my fiance not yet incarcerated but is looking at a 7 year mandatory minimum... The laywer is saying if he is lucky then he might be able to plead out at 4 (since he ha
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    Tommie
    Tommie has accepted Kaycee's friend request.
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    Kaycee
    Kaycee Hi everyone, I'm really new to this as I'm sure everyone here was at one point. Lucky my fiance not yet incarcerated but is looking at a 7 year mandatory minimum... The laywer is saying if he is lucky then he might be able to plead out at 4 (since he has no priors) but if he takes it to trial and loses he will get the max which is 25. I'm 28 and he's 41 we have full custody of his 16 year old, I'm having a hard time making it seem like life is normal. I can keep it together in front of our son and I'm trying my hardest to keep it together for my man, because I know whatever I'm feeling he's feeling a million times worse, he doesn't want to talk about it and his mood is so up and down. I feel like nothing I'm doing is right. However there are times he wants to talk that I have nothing to say, I can't form words, I'm trying to just deal with this new reality of life. Any advice on how to keep myself going as well as keeping both my guys going until sentencing?
    1 month ago
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    • Snoopy
      ×
      Snoopy Hi Kaycee.... I'm sorry you have to deal with this! It was hell on us, he left for work and walked out of our lives as we knew it! It was a nightmare for me and our 3 kids and his end was pure hell! We also looked at 10 mandatory or trail and take a chance people would see his side! However if it went bad he was looking at 25 up so.... in the end it was his choice, he took the plea and will be doing the mandatory 10 plus one extra the judge felt she needed to add :( his recomandate sentence was only 6! With good time he would've been home in 4, that sucked, was hard to deal with but once the Feds get in it, done! he will be the one behind bars, away from all he loves so ya, I bet his mind is all over the place. See my husband was locked up right away, no bond! We rarely got to speak and not all the first week.... that was just hell! Anyway, you can get through this, once he is moved and settled in his temporary home it will ever so slowly fall into place. There are days when I can't stop crying but I stay strong for my kids and cry in the shower! I get the constant defense part too, I have stopped talking, get tried of trying to make people see that yes, he messed up, he knows that better than anyone and would do anything to undo it but.... he is paying for it, dearly! We lost everything, he was 2 years from retirement! Ya, live will never be the same but.... It can be better so.... stay strong, come here to vent and hold close to loved ones that get it, you'll need the strength and love.... warm hugs from TX
      1 month ago
    • Tommie
      ×
      Tommie Hello Kaycee-- Welcome to the group and glad to have you among with us, and as you go through this whole ordeal you learn to balance it all out, make time for yourself, your son and your man, trust me I did it and survived it for 4.5 yrs with four kids (mine bio) and school (part time) and I tell ya before we moved into this house and I started working again, for 4.5 yrs it wasn't and hasn't always been easy to deal with, my love has been home close to yr this month now (November 28, 2016) and like you and so many others, felt like I'd never see or hear from him again, thought my life was over or never meant to be, it took for him to go to prison to realize that love comes in a series of tests and this, was one of them, if you truly love someone you'd be there for them, now I have read and know some women personally who got burned once their kings got out and I mean they did the unthinkable ya know and I'm not saying yours will, but you have to make time for you and your son as well, ya know. Get and keep the house in order, volunteer, work and/or attend school, stay involved in your son's school activities, go out on dates with him, his friends, plan a sleepover, pizza party, holidays are coming up so plan something doesn't have to be fancy or expensive, but anything to keep your mind from wandering idly, and lastly write, keep a journal, write letters or emails, send pics if you're allowed to, etc.. Hope these ideas and this message helps you in some way, love always, Tommie~~~~.
      1 month ago
    • Linda
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      Linda Yes Tommie I was going to say the same thing 😀 this is wonderful advice. I'm new as well. We have blended families and our kids live with us. They are 12, 14,15, and 16. I was a housewife before his conviction. He violated probation, we aren't drinker's but occasionally we will have wine with our steak dinner and he violated last time for a failed UA of alcohol. We are in a county that really does what they want. His original charge was agg assault almost 11years ago. He's been on probation almost 8 years and in the 8 years he's missed one UA, he did weekend jail for a month over that. His first violation he got caught with a wizinator, he got 90 days for that and then he got on the right track and for the past 5 years he's been doing perfect. His PO called him a role model. And then he started coming up dilute on his recent UA's, he works outside and drinks a ton of water all day. He knew he wasn't dirty so he went on his own time and had a lab pull his head hair which goes back a year. He passed that with flying colors but the Court's didn't care and they violated him on that as well even after he proved his innocence with a hair frolicle. And his final violation was for alcohol, come to find out here in the county we live in here in Texas they go back 80 for alcohol and we didn't know that. Every one who is tested has to take a breathalyzer when they walk in before they pee, my husband really thought that was the alcohol test he didn't know they test the urine too. So he got 2 years for those 4 violations even though the past 5 years he's been doing extremely good. He got 2 years with 530 days back time which leaves him 6 months left to do in TDCJ. Not sure if they are doing 50% on a 2 term sentence, if they were then he would be out by the time he makes it to prison because he's already done 75% of his sentence. My husband and I are blessed in many ways, he was going to be on paper for another 2 years, now he's going to be completely done in 6 months with very little parole if any to do. So the idea of him not being on paper is amazing since he's been on paper almost 8 years. We are blessed that the judge wasn't having a bad day and sentenced him to 2 years with all that back time credited to him. So the blessings have been rolling in and now it's a waiting game of making ends meet to keep our 4 kids happy. I was a housewife before he went in and I've managed to secure myself with work and my bills are getting paid thank God. Nights are harder for me but when the kids go to bed I focus my time on letter's and poetry. I volunteer for the school, I also help an elderly couple out for a little extra cash. Thank you for that great advice Tommie it's wonderful knowing that there is light at the end of the tunnel. Thank you. Kaycee I'm praying for you, I'm here for you and the best advice is what Tommie gave. You've got this girl!! Keep that head up and it's time to make your boys very proud of you. You can do 😀 God bless you, lots of love, - Linda
      1 month ago
    • Kaycee
      ×
      Kaycee Thank you ladies so much. Its reassuring to know that there is so much support from a community of women going through the same thing just in different stages. We just bought what we thought would be our forever home, so like you Linda I've been a housewife for the last year. We were getting settled and were supposed to get married in June then hopefully extend our family. He already was whining about being an old dad haha, and shockingly our 16 year old didn't hate the idea of being an older brother. I'm fourtuante enough that I have a B.S. in nursing so hopefully finding a job won't b difficult, and he can work pretty much up until the day he gets sentenced, but even though he is physically here.... He is so far gone into his own head that he is just going through the motions of everyday life. Our legal system is so corrupt on every level, both of your husbands are struggling STILL because of mistakes from so long ago!! They did their time, paid their dues now it's time they should be able to experience life, no papers, no PO, no random UAs.... But if that were the case there would be a lot of people out of jobs. The liberty that has been extended to the judicial system is a far cry from what it was intended to be. My man got talked into doing something he normally wouldn't by a CI (who at one point was one of his best friends) who basically used him as a pawn to save himself and someone else. Not at all condoning what he did, no good money comes easy.... But to the feds to do a feds to do a controlled SALE on someone who has never been in trouble before blows my mind, then they turned around to him and said if he could set up 5 controlled buys he would walk. However he knows what he did was wrong and he has to lay down every night with just himself and God and he knows what happened wasn't fair, so how could he do that to someone else? You make your bed and you lay in it. Sorry I I didn't mean to rant, I just have been on the constant defense and no one seems to understand. I have a broke heart a 16 year old who had to learn way too much too soon and a happily ever after that has to be put on hold. I think it's the fear of the unknown that's hardest.... There is a huge difference between 4 years and 25. But I know this is all some sort of Gods plan, but I've been making sure I hit my knees as soon as I open my eyes, and again before I go to bed praying that this will make sense sooner rather then later. Thanks again for welcoming me, and y'all have been added to my list of prayers💗
      1 month ago
    • Snoopy
      ×
      Snoopy Hi Kaycee.... I'm sorry you have to deal with this! It was hell on us, he left for work and walked out of our lives as we knew it! It was a nightmare for me and our 3 kids and his end was pure hell! We also looked at 10 mandatory or trail and take a chance people would see his side! However if it went bad he was looking at 25 up so.... in the end it was his choice, he took the plea and will be doing the mandatory 10 plus one extra the judge felt she needed to add :( his recomandate sentence was only 6! With good time he would've been home in 4, that sucked, was hard to deal with but once the Feds get in it, done! he will be the one behind bars, away from all he loves so ya, I bet his mind is all over the place. See my husband was locked up right away, no bond! We rarely got to speak and not all the first week.... that was just hell! Anyway, you can get through this, once he is moved and settled in his temporary home it will ever so slowly fall into place. There are days when I can't stop crying but I stay strong for my kids and cry in the shower! I get the constant defense part too, I have stopped talking, get tried of trying to make people see that yes, he messed up, he knows that better than anyone and would do anything to undo it but.... he is paying for it, dearly! We lost everything, he was 2 years from retirement! Ya, live will never be the same but.... It can be better so.... stay strong, come here to vent and hold close to loved ones that get it, you'll need the strength and love.... warm hugs from TX
      1 month ago
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    Kaycee

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