Red Barron

Red Barron

37 years old
Female
Location
Mesa
United States
Current Status
Yesterday sentencing was held over till 12/20. I am anxious to have a solid answer and for the next step to happen. If he goes to prison I will be able to have a contact visit in time. In AZ, the jails have only video visits. I need to hug him...feel his
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    Red Barron
    Red Barron Yesterday sentencing was held over till 12/20. I am anxious to have a solid answer and for the next step to happen. If he goes to prison I will be able to have a contact visit in time. In AZ, the jails have only video visits. I need to hug him...feel his arms around me. I am crying as I write this. Bless you all. Have a good day
    11 days ago
    • Kienast Girl
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      Kienast Girl I felt the exact same way when my HUsband first got locked up almost 1 year ago. For 5 1/2 months we had no contact visits the first time we got to have contact I cryed instantly feeling his arms around me and his lips on mine, made me feel like we were the only people in the whole room. Trust me when you get to embrace like that it makes everything worth it
      11 days ago
    • Admin JoJo Matthews
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      Admin JoJo Matthews We are in AZ also, I remember video visits had them for 3 years, then we went to glass now we have contact behind bars. Praying that this time yours gets sentenced and you don’t have to wait longer.
      10 days ago
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    Red Barron
    Red Barron I had my first video visit with Him today!:) He looked so good! I haven't seen him sober in a very longtime. He is thinking clearly and emotionally..this is good in that respect. I try to keep it light, everyone has told me that I should not tell him of
    11 days ago
    • Kienast Girl
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      Kienast Girl Personally I avoid telling my Husband certain things because I know it will make him feel upset and feel like a bad Husband but I know something he needs to hear. My advice to you is learn what you can and can't say I used to stand in front of a mirror and rehurse what I would say to him and if I got emotional that would be something I can't tell him the last thing you want is to see him get emotional knowing you can't do anything about it ( hold him and make him feel better )
      11 days ago
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    Red Barron
    Red Barron I had my first video visit with Him today!:) He looked so good! I haven't seen him sober in a very longtime. He is thinking clearly and emotionally..this is good in that respect. I try to keep it light, everyone has told me that I should not tell him of the struggles I have. I don't know if they are right. I am somewhere in the middle. although he can't help to change things physically, I tell him because he is my partner. I would like to know if anyone else has or had this quandary too... Thank you
    15 days ago
    • View all 4 Comments
    • Jalynn
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      Jalynn I've found it's not always good to share everything. Everyone is different though. It is important for you to share with him how you feel about things...Like if he's slacking off on letter writing, or on the phone talking to you but he's also talking to guys in there, etc. I've gone through spells where it seems like it's all about him...what he wants, how he wants things, etc. Like for example I was supposed to go visit October 25th and he decided like a day or two before that that it was stupid for me to drive 5 hours just to be able to visit for an hour. And that really, really hurt me because I don't think he really took the time to understand that I need those visits, I need to be able to see him and I need to be able to spend time with him. I was upset and did not hide it. Yes, they are the ones locked up, it's difficult for them but we matter as well. Our thoughts and feelings are just as important as theirs. They are supposed to be our support just like we are theirs. I just feel that if it's something pertaining to our relationship I need to be honest with him about it.
      14 days ago
    • mrs.soon to be arias
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      mrs.soon to be arias I keep it real with my man to levels and temperatures; i do it because of the comfort level we share towards one another....you will find out what works for you and what you don't want to do.....blessings to you and yours
      15 days ago
    • Admin JoJo Matthews
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      Admin JoJo Matthews I struggled at first becuse I didn’t want to stress him unnecessarily. Now I’m open and honest with him.
      15 days ago
    • Jalynn
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      Jalynn Aww Congratulations!
      14 days ago
    • Jalynn
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      Jalynn I've found it's not always good to share everything. Everyone is different though. It is important for you to share with him how you feel about things...Like if he's slacking off on letter writing, or on the phone talking to you but he's also talking to guys in there, etc. I've gone through spells where it seems like it's all about him...what he wants, how he wants things, etc. Like for example I was supposed to go visit October 25th and he decided like a day or two before that that it was stupid for me to drive 5 hours just to be able to visit for an hour. And that really, really hurt me because I don't think he really took the time to understand that I need those visits, I need to be able to see him and I need to be able to spend time with him. I was upset and did not hide it. Yes, they are the ones locked up, it's difficult for them but we matter as well. Our thoughts and feelings are just as important as theirs. They are supposed to be our support just like we are theirs. I just feel that if it's something pertaining to our relationship I need to be honest with him about it.
      14 days ago
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    Red Barron
    Red Barron has accepted Johnathon's girl <3's friend request.
    16 days ago
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    Hope
    Hope commented on Red Barron's wall:
    Hi, I know exactly how you feel. When your getting negative feedback from your friends and family, it makes you feel if you can't talk to them who can you talk to? Well let me give you some hope, my love was given life without parole. I feel ...
    16 days ago
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    Red Barron
    Red Barron Thank you for allowing me to be a part of this group. I am overwhelmed and without a shoulder to lean on.
    17 days ago
    • View all 4 Comments
    • Red Barron
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      Red Barron Admin JoJo Matthews, You are right! I am not ready to tell the world yet and when I do, there will be fallout. I am not prepared for it. I don't think anyone is. I had to tell his family and I was terrified. Things started happening in a matter of hours. His daughter was moved out of my home and care, Thanksgiving invitation with his family was recinded and much more. I finally told two of my closest friends and honestly felt better. I should have told them before his family....haha. I am going to do my best to be an advocate like you are. This is something akin to cancer. I never thought of it like that. Thank you for your response and thoughts to ponder.
      15 days ago
    • Johnathon's girl <3
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      Johnathon's girl <3 my love and I started this leg of our journey almost a year ago so I'm still quite new to all the prison stuff myself and don't know how much help I can be but if u need to talk u can all ways message me
      17 days ago
    • Red Barron
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      Red Barron Thank you so much for replying to my post. I am still waiting to find out about sentencing. I am anxious. This is only intensified by the stress I feel about the finances and the kids. I don't have any family here and very few friends that i feel comfortable telling. I would love to chat with you. I will message you. Talk to you soon
      16 days ago
    • Admin JoJo Matthews
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      Admin JoJo Matthews Over whelmed, stressed, sad, angry are all normal emotions to be going through at this time. Sadly there is a stigma that goes along with this journey that this community is trying to break. It’s not often that any of us have anyone immediately surrounding us that know what we are going through or support it. You will learn to not care what others think. You may lose friends over it but guess what they weren’t true friends to begin with. What no one realizes is this can happen to anyone at any time no matter how good of a person they think they are or how good of a person their significant other or family member is. Incarceration touches everyone just like anyone can get cancer. It can look a little skewed at times but that’s media’s fault. Anyway I hope you find what you are looking for here and you make some friends that know what you are going through.
      16 days ago
    • Red Barron
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      Red Barron Admin JoJo Matthews, You are right! I am not ready to tell the world yet and when I do, there will be fallout. I am not prepared for it. I don't think anyone is. I had to tell his family and I was terrified. Things started happening in a matter of hours. His daughter was moved out of my home and care, Thanksgiving invitation with his family was recinded and much more. I finally told two of my closest friends and honestly felt better. I should have told them before his family....haha. I am going to do my best to be an advocate like you are. This is something akin to cancer. I never thought of it like that. Thank you for your response and thoughts to ponder.
      15 days ago

About

I am the Significant Other of an inmate.
We have been in a committed relationship for over four years.
I have never been in this situation before and have many questions that I am afraid or unwilling to ask. When I do ask the people around me, most think that I am pretending to not understand, playing the poor me card. The other response is that I should have left long ago and I should pick up and run now.
I am hoping that this support group will be able to ground me, encourage me and assist me to love him through this.
I know that this will not be easy.I anticipate the emotions although I am still in shock right now.
I have already found some peace in this site, seeing that others have felt the same way I do right now. Thank you for allowing me to be a part of this.I need it so much as I am sure many others do as well.

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  • Hope
    by Hope 16 days ago
    Hi, I know exactly how you feel. When your getting negative feedback from your friends and family, it makes you feel if you can't talk to them who can you talk to? Well let me give you some hope, my love was given life without parole. I feel dedicated to him, I still feel loyal, I pray for us all the time. You can only take one day at a time, if you think about the time all the time, it will play tricks on you. Look at his time as something that will allow you both to find more ways to love each other, to find out the most sincere piece of each other. Use the time, do not let the time use you & drive you crazy. You also have to create a world for the both of you, a place that takes him away from the bars & locks and a place that makes you feel closer to him. I'm not sure if that makes sense to you, I have been doing it for a long time. I have done it all, I have said it all. I learned how to do a lot of things with him, without him being with me. I'm not going to share that out loud, but if you ever want to know. Just let me know, I will pray for you both. It will be alright, u have a light to look forward to at the end of the tunnel. That's a good, to be able to have a plan/future together is the key.. I promise you, each day will get better to deal with it, you will find your own way befor you know it. Trust me:)