Tara

Tara

37 years old
Female
Location
Dunmore
United States
Current Status
Im so new to this jail thing , my fiance is gone upstate for about 3 years and im beyond lost
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    Tara
    Tara Im so new to this jail thing , my fiance is gone upstate for about 3 years and im beyond lost
    6 days ago
    • View all 3 Comments
    • Tommie
      ×
      Tommie Ty Jalynn, you've nailed it too, so hopefully this little bit of info will help her out okay, thanks again.. Love always, Tommie~~~~.
      3 days ago
    • Tommie
      ×
      Tommie Hi Tara!!! "Welcome" to the group and you'll find lots of love, support, and encouragement here with all the ladies and myself in the group, you're gonna have your ups and downs and feel lost, betrayed along with other mixed emotions, we've all been there, I've done it for 4.5 yrs first time and never in a million yrs I'd find myself falling in love with someone and be separated from someone who means the world to me for nearly 5 yrs. For some seems like a short sentence, but for a newbie at the time like myself, it felt like I was the one being locked up and it was hard, maintaining a household, raising all four of my kids, going to school part-time and lastly taking care of my now husband Deryck and we've met nearly 6 yrs ago this coming January 23, and we married a yr now November 29, 2016 the morning of his release. So if you really love him, you'd give it a chance and stand by him no matter what, it's not gonna always be easy to deal with at times, but it can be done, you have to find things to occupy your time, such as writing or sending him an email (if your state allows it), visit with friends and/or family who are and/or will be supportive of your love and understanding as to why you choose to be with him, and as time go on the separation will become a whole lot easier to deal with, make sense? And lastly, if you're not working, find a job so you can save for visits, phone calls, money for his books, etc. Good to you and hope you find solace, comfort in this.. Love always, Tommie~~~.
      6 days ago
    • Jalynn
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      Jalynn I agree with Tommie, well said! You definitely need people who you can talk to about your situation. Like here, this support group is probably the best resource. The only things I would add is patience and understanding for one another. That goes both ways, he's got to have it with you as well. There are going to be times where something is going on inside and he may call or write, and you can hear/feel the aggravation. He may be moody sometimes, it happens. The same is true for you out here, something may happen and your upset or stressed. You can go through moods too. For the most part I try my very best to not show aggravation/stress/moods to my fiancee if it pertains to money, him being locked up, etc. They have enough to deal with already and they feel useless and bad enough as it is. I will tell him things like, our son is refusing to clean his room. Then he'll get on his behind about it. Or babe, this frustrated me at work today....this happened, what should I do, etc. Those sorts of things they generally like, they like to feel like they are able to parent or they are your partner. Jail/prison is expensive so yes, I agree with Tommie if you aren't working get a job! Him not having even the very basic stuff will aggravate him and could cause fights between you 2. And you don't want him getting in a situation where he owes people, that could be bad. The food is nasty, I've yet to hear anything good about it from anywhere. So commissary/canteen(whatever he calls it) is going to be where he probably will get most of his food. For the most part in most places the prices are fairly reasonable(for jail prices that is lol) but if he's pretty much solely relying on that it could be hundreds of dollars per month. Phone calls can be expensive too, some places as much as almost $4 per 15-20 minute call. We spend about $500 per month, He is federal right now. That is for commissary, email and phone. We are lucky his calls are like $0.75 per 15 minutes. But computer time for emailing is $0.05 per minute, so every 30 minutes is $1.50. He works in the kitchen and does eat a little bit from the kitchen but I'd say 90% is commissary. He's getting moved to state prison and I know he can have a TV and tablet there, they are about $150-200 each so I'm saving for that. Plus he can't take anything with him so we will have to buy all the t-shirts, shorts, etc all over again, which sucks! I'm not trying to scare or overwhelm you, just being honest and giving you as much information as I can. It's better to be prepared and hope for the best. If you have any questions be sure to ask, even if you think they are "dumb," there are no dumb questions when you are new to this! Also vent if you need to. It's better to get it all out and with us here, more than likely someone here has probably dealt with the same thing!
      3 days ago
    • Tommie
      ×
      Tommie Ty Jalynn, you've nailed it too, so hopefully this little bit of info will help her out okay, thanks again.. Love always, Tommie~~~~.
      3 days ago

About

My name is tara im 37 , my fiance is going upstate for about 3 years , i have never been through this before and its beyond hard , i have 3 children who love him and its very difficult and 2 are special needs , he was all i had and now he is gone ..

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