Duckies

Duckies

32 years old
Female
Current Status
Feeling lost and confused right now. We are approaching 4 years since my husband has been in prison. It is getting harder and harder being apart. I love my husband but with the distance I am afraid that I might be follow out of love with my husband.
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  • How did you hear about us?
    another prison wife

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    kkadam
    kkadam has accepted Duckies's friend request.
    6 months ago
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    Tommie
    Tommie has accepted Duckies's friend request.
    6 months ago
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    Duckies
    Duckies Feeling lost and confused right now. We are approaching 4 years since my husband has been in prison. It is getting harder and harder being apart. I love my husband but with the distance I am afraid that I might be follow out of love with my husband. Any suggestions on how to gain that spark back with the distance between us? The hardest thing for me is not having that physical contact. We do get a hug and kiss at visit but that isn't enough.
    6 months ago
    • View all 6 Comments
    • Tommie
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      Tommie Yw Duckies-- You and your love can talk about things in general, like what's does your future look like once he's home, your day at work, with the kids( if any) a new restaurant you had a chance to explore, his favorite meals, drinks (hot and cold) desserts appetizers, favorite TV shows, your sex life, what kind of a wedding you'd like do you want a traditional or a potluck (my now husband discussed these and then some) favorite stores, footwear, vacation spots, cars, vans, colors, hairstyles, etc, and the list goes on and on ya know and you be surprised what you might find with your love while he's away, for me my now husband is a very picky eater plus he's an Aries, I'm a Virgo (Sept) and those two are my favorite birthstones diamond and sapphire but being with him until now makes me love him even more ya know and just being around him makes me melt and all lit up inside so as I said to you before, maybe make a list of things to talk about as you would making a grocery list okay and trust and believe me that your next conversation will never be the same or boring again. Love always, Tommie~~~.
      6 months ago
    • Tommie
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      Tommie Hey Duckies, I've been in your shoes, so I can relate okay. The best thing I could tell you is to write him and/or send emails okay and what my now husband and I been doing is writing, him calling me, etc.. I have to go and we'll talk later okay
      6 months ago
    • Duckies
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      Duckies Thanks tommie! We dont really write that much anymore. We do talk about 4 times a day for 15 minutes each call. There is a lot of silience on our calls lately.
      6 months ago
    • Tommie
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      Tommie Okay Duckies, break the ice by conversating more through letters and e-mails and as I said to you before, my now husband did 4.5 yr bid from July 25, 2012 to Nov 28, 2016 and we married the next am at the local courthouse here in Roanoke, VA and at times it hasn't and wasn't always easy to deal with and with me just recently graduated from Health Records Coding and moved into our new home together with 4 kids (mine bio, his two grown one of each in the Carolinas) so considering where the kids and I been through and came from I can honestly say, 'We're truly blessed" through the storms, blood, sweat, tears and perservance it took a lot of praying, time, love, patience and hard work to get to where we are now, and the same will happen to you both okay. Express your fears in a journal and the next letter you write to him okay, if you need ideas, spice it up, we've written erotic ones too yep sure did and our bond is stronger than ever okay. So finishing up my lunch and gonna take a nap, but hang in there and hope to hear more from you real soon, okay. Love always, Tommie~~~.
      6 months ago
    • kkadam
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      kkadam Maybe you guys are having too many calls, Adam and i went thru something similar not to long ago and we only been together 2 years. we decided to space the calls out if something came up during that time we didnt speak on the phone i would email him. the time from talking made us miss each other and excited to talk to each other. and we valued the 20 minutes a little more. we still do it now, he and i are talkers so it was hard to believe we ran out of things to say, lol. I know some women feel like they cant go one day without hearing their mans voice, but it does help bring the spark back when you look forward to hearing it. its a suggestion. and it worked for us.
      6 months ago
    • Duckies
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      Duckies Thank you ladies! Yes, i agree we are running out of things to talk about. He has suggested reading books to talk about. I actually recently was promotes to a supervisor at work. We both have a leadership book. I started reading it but stopped when i got to some questions i had to answer before moving on. He had been asking me for over a week to start reading it so i did. Now for two days i. Have asked of we can talk about the book but now he wont. Really?! Instead we sit in silence. I think most nights two calls are plenty, but i think he gets bored that is why he calls so much.
      6 months ago
    • Tommie
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      Tommie Yw Duckies-- You and your love can talk about things in general, like what's does your future look like once he's home, your day at work, with the kids( if any) a new restaurant you had a chance to explore, his favorite meals, drinks (hot and cold) desserts appetizers, favorite TV shows, your sex life, what kind of a wedding you'd like do you want a traditional or a potluck (my now husband discussed these and then some) favorite stores, footwear, vacation spots, cars, vans, colors, hairstyles, etc, and the list goes on and on ya know and you be surprised what you might find with your love while he's away, for me my now husband is a very picky eater plus he's an Aries, I'm a Virgo (Sept) and those two are my favorite birthstones diamond and sapphire but being with him until now makes me love him even more ya know and just being around him makes me melt and all lit up inside so as I said to you before, maybe make a list of things to talk about as you would making a grocery list okay and trust and believe me that your next conversation will never be the same or boring again. Love always, Tommie~~~.
      6 months ago
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    Becca
    Becca has accepted Duckies's friend request.
    6 months ago
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    Duckies
    Duckies Really need to go to sleep. Have an early am visit tomorrow morning!
    8 months ago
    • kkadam
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      kkadam Enjoy your visit, the excitement of it all wont let you sleep
      8 months ago
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    Duckies
    Duckies Really need to go to sleep. Have an early am visit tomorrow morning!
    8 months ago
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    JkmAtz
    JkmAtz has accepted Duckies's friend request.
    8 months ago
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    Duckies
    Duckies Last night at our Boy Scout meeting with my husband the kids actually got to wear their Halloween costumes and the facility had a Halloween party for the Boy Scouts. We had so much fun and was very happy daddy got to see the kids in their costumes. The kids also got a lot of candy!
    1 year ago
    • View all 3 Comments
    • Duckies
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      Duckies Yes, it is a state prison. It is an amazing program. Boy Scouts is for dads that have a son between the age of 6 and 13 I believe. They have meetings once a month. I get to go and they also allow me to bring my daughter with me. We love it. It is an extra visit and they are so more relaxed then a regular visit. When the weather is nice they got to go outside and play football! The first part of the meeting the boys and dads do activities to earn badges. The facility is even doing a cookie sale to raise money to boy the boys uniforms.
      1 year ago
    • Mrs.Mccord
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      Mrs.Mccord Wow is this a prison?
      1 year ago
    • Caity
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      Caity Awe thats so cool they allow that!!
      1 year ago
    • Duckies
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      Duckies Yes, it is a state prison. It is an amazing program. Boy Scouts is for dads that have a son between the age of 6 and 13 I believe. They have meetings once a month. I get to go and they also allow me to bring my daughter with me. We love it. It is an extra visit and they are so more relaxed then a regular visit. When the weather is nice they got to go outside and play football! The first part of the meeting the boys and dads do activities to earn badges. The facility is even doing a cookie sale to raise money to boy the boys uniforms.
      1 year ago
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    Dylansmom
    Dylansmom has accepted Duckies's friend request.
    1 year ago
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    Duckies
    "Duckies" commented on Real Wife (Dee)'s Blog "Hello From the Other Side: A Daughter's Memoir".
    Thank you for sharing this. My husband and I have an 8 year old girl and a 6 year old boy together. My husband is 3 years in to a 21 year sentence. Your situation is very similar to ours. When the kids dad left we had to pack up and move too. We ...
    1 year ago
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    Ro ❤ CoFounder/President
    Ro ❤ CoFounder/President has accepted Duckies's friend request.
    1 year ago
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    lynn16
    lynn16 has accepted Duckies's friend request.
    1 year ago
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    Ree
    Ree has accepted Duckies's friend request.
    1 year ago
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    Duckies
    Duckies With my husband being locked up he misses out on a lot of first with the kids. But on fathers day he got to pull out our sons first tooth at our visit! He was so happy to be able to be apart of that very special moment for our son. Actually two years ago this July he also got to pull out our daughters first tooth at a visit too! What are the odds of that napping?!?!?
    1 year ago
    • Hislady4life
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      Hislady4life That is so awesome!
      1 year ago
    • LovingHimUntil4ever
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      LovingHimUntil4ever That's awesome! I know he's a proud Daddy! They miss out on so much, so being a part of that was priceless, for him and the kids.
      1 year ago
    • Jen
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      Jen Random.....so happy he's getting to share some moments. xoxo
      1 year ago
    • JoJo Matthews
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      JoJo Matthews Hey that's pretty cool. It's the small things we have to enjoy and be grateful for.
      1 year ago
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    Duckies
    Duckies Had a nice visit today!
    1 year ago

About

In August of 2012 my husband and I decided at the last minute to take a family vacation just the 4 of us to the outer banks. We have been there many times before but with a big group. We worked our way up the coast and stayed at different parts of the outer banks on our trip. It was an awesome family vacation and our last one for a long time.

In November of 2012 my husband of 7 years was arrested. He started out with 3 charges. He was in county for almost a month. I was debased when he was arrested. Didn't know wha to do. I immediately turned to his parents for support. My family unforunately wasn't much of an support for me. They were there for me at first, but they immediately said that I needed to divorce my husband. Wow! Didn't realize that was their decision. My brother in law went to the cops and tried to offer up any possible information...the funny thing is he didn't have anything worthwhile. When my husband was release from county my family pretty much disappeared. They think was they will support me, but not my husband. So, it doesn't work that way.

So, over the next year we are in and out of hearings and meetings with the lawyers. There were more charges added too. It was just like things kept getting worse. My husband lost his job, he had to go on house arrest, but at least we were able to be together as a family. Since my husband couldn't leave the house/property we stayed home a lot so we could spend as much time as possible with him. Hearings and court dates kept getting pushed back, but finally on oct 11 2013 he was finally sentenced....21 years.m I was knight at first. As so was he, the detective that hand cuffed him and took him to the cruiser, banged up his wrist pretty good. When he got to the jail they were like what happened...he had bruises all over his wrist. He didn't even feel any of it.

So, we begun our ongoing journey of being separated. He was in county fo a couple of months before they transferred him to prison. He was placed in an interim prison for another couple of months and then was finally placed at another prison which is now his home. Over the past 2 1/2 years we have gotten into a routine and are making this horrible situation work the best we can.

I have since move our family closer to him to make things easier on my. The less time in th car the better. The best decision I ever made was to move. I have an awesome new job and after only 14 months I received a promotion. The church we belong to is amazing. We are making new strong relationships with some really great people.

We have an 8 year old daughter and a 6 year old son. My husband does the best to stay involved in their lives. And he is doing a great job. He has been able to find things he has in common with each one of them and to find things that pertain to their interest to either talk about or to do overs the phone. For example...our daughter likes to p,any basketball, so on a call he will have her go outside and he will give her some drills to do. For our sone they both love Zelda, so they will play Zelda together. Well, our son will play and his dad will tell him were he needs to go. Yes, he has the game memorized...plus he has a guide book too to reference too. Lol! But whatever keeps the bond between them strong.

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