Jen

Jen

43 years old
Female
Location
Penfield
United States
Current Status
I need some advice. Please help me. My husband went to the hole under investigation on Dec 8th and was kept in a "clean room" as he put it. Where he was restrained naked and video recorded for 24 hours, only time the CO's would come in was once every 6 h
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  • How did you hear about us?
    Husband suggested I look for support groups

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    Jen
    Jen I need some advice. Please help me. My husband went to the hole under investigation on Dec 8th and was kept in a "clean room" as he put it. Where he was restrained naked and video recorded for 24 hours, only time the CO's would come in was once every 6 hours to let him pee and check his stool that while he was made to watch to see if he had drugs in him. (which he did not). Isn't this illegal? This seems to me like inhumane torture just because of some suspicion of him swallowing drugs on a visit?
    1 year ago
    • Ryan'sWife
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      Ryan'sWife Sounds horrible, but they can do it. My ex husband was naked and shackled and put in a padded cell with nothing at all but a drain to use the bathroom in in the middle of the floor. Im not saying this against your husband but my ex was treated this way because he was going crazy acting stupid wanting to fight the cops and he kept getting out of the straight jacket so that is what they chose to do. Inmates lose just about all rights when loxked up. Some things sound harsh, but these guys and girls who are making a life out of living in prison need to think about this stuff.
      1 year ago
    • wendy
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      wendy So sorry this is happening, if he had a lawyer during his trial i would try calling and reaching out, i know i still keep in contact with his lawyer, and firm just to ask simple questions. And they also wanted me to keep in touch, or i would go to one of those pro bono type of groups and seek further advice. Sometimes adding pressure by asking questions and keeping them on their feet, just making sure things are being done correctly as they should could help. Good Luck!!
      1 year ago
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    Ree
    Ree commented on Jen's picture.
    Lovely
    1 year ago
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    Carma
    Carma commented on Jen's picture.
    Wow! Looks great!
    1 year ago
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    Admin LaSann
    Admin LaSann commented on Jen's picture.
    ,beautiful
    1 year ago
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    Jen
    Jen So thankful that my husbands best friend photo shopped our wedding pictures
    1 year ago
    • KNB
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      KNB They did a great job! it's a beautiful photo of you all.
      1 year ago
    • Jen
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      Jen thank you. quite the change from a prison background and my husband in a ugly jumpsuit
      1 year ago
    • KNB
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      KNB lol yeah if we ever get married I think that I would like to do something similar. It would be nice to show then off without 'that' look
      1 year ago
    • Jen
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      Jen exactly. thats the reason i have kept them to myself until now
      1 year ago
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    Jen
    Jen changed their Profile Photo.
    1 year ago
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    Jen
    Jen has uploaded 1 new photos.
    1 year ago
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    Jen
    Jen does anyone know someone who can photoshop my wedding pictures?
    1 year ago
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    Jen
    Jen My eyes are swollen from crying. Why you might ask? It started on Thursday night when my husband called me saying he had a visit from a buddy of his and that he loved me and would call me in the morning. Friday came and went with no word from him. Saturday was nearly gone when I got a call from someone I didn't even know stating that he is in the hole but didn't know why. I texted the buddy he was visiting with that night with only "I'll call you after work" but the phone call never came. The woman on the phone told me that she's the gf of one of his cell mates, that they only closed his door but didn't search it. I called the prison and talked to the lieutenant who was so rude, stating that "if he wants to talk to you he will call or write" never once telling me he was in the hole. To make matters worse, this is our first Christmas as a married couple and the first Christmas that our daughter and I would be able to spend with him ever. My daughter has never been able to see her daddy on Christmas. To say the least I'm so heart broken. My husbands mother's response to the lack of hearing from him in two days..." well he is in prison for Christ sakes!" when told of the news of him being in the hole she was almost happy. Made me want to puke. I have no idea when he will be able to write me but I bought a boat load of cards with the plan of flooding him with I love you, missing you, merry Christmas and happy 1 month anniversary. I hope that this will help him make the time a little bearable. As for me and our daughter, well we are just going to spend Christmas together and focus on charitable activities. As for my new mother-in-law, well if she wanted a relationship with me that is a bridge she just burned. Thanks for letting me vent.
    1 year ago
    • KNB
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      KNB Unfortunately there isn't much I can say to make any of this any better but sometimes as you said just being able to vent helps.When we have had to deal with time in the hole B has had at least writing supplies made available to him so hopefully you will hear from your husband soon and you will at least know he is ok and have a better idea of what is going on. I'm sorry that it feels that his mom hasn't been all that supportive through this but maybe you just caught her at a bad time or she just deals with this kind of thing differently? I don't know I'd just like to think there was ray of hope there somewhere ( being the eternal optimist I am lol ) family and loved ones are so important :)
      1 year ago
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    Jen
    Jen I'm having a very hard time this Christmas without my husband. Married almost a month ago with a prison wedding and now Christmas without him has me to the point of sobbing at times. I just can't fight this feeling of overwhelming sorrow of him not being able to share in the holiday. I wonder how everyone else deals with this time of year? My husband is a Lifer and I know that this will be a yearly event for us but can it ever get better?
    1 year ago
    • View all 7 Comments
    • Island Girl
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      Island Girl This is the 1st year in 24 years that my husband & I will not be together for holidays:( Some days are better than others. I just try to always keep my eye on the "prize" & that''s the day he comes home! This is all temporary. Stay strong, keep busy & keep the faith XOXO
      1 year ago
    • Carma
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      Carma Hi Jen, I'm sorry to hear that you're having a tough time. The Holidays are always a bit more challenging. Maybe you two could brainstorm on some traditions you would like to start. I always take a bunch of pictures from our family gatherings and send them as a collage. We're fortunate to have great family support, so when we draw names for gifts or an ornament exchange, he is always included. It doesn't make me miss him any less, but it allows me to acknowledge his important place in my life.
      1 year ago
    • Admin JoJo Matthews
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      Admin JoJo Matthews My love is a lifer as well and this is the first year I will actually get to see him for Christmas. It's been 4 and half years since he got locked up and things are definitely not any easier. However I've adjusted to the fact this is my life. I volunteer with our very own site here so it' keeps me busy. Find things to do to stay busy. I send my love tons of cards and pictures and constantly remind him he's in my thoughts and missed. If you can't get together with family and friends maybe find some place to volunteer for the holidays it puts things back in to perspective and reminds us to be grateful cor everything plus it warms the heart to give joy to others during a season that can be sad for many.
      1 year ago
    • Dylansmom
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      Dylansmom I know how hard the holidays can be. See if you can visit the weekends closest to Christmas (or Hannukah) and try to make it festive. Hot chocolate in the visiting room, and sharing memories of past Holidays can be a joyful time together. He wouldn't want you to be sad. All the ideas above are really good.
      1 year ago
    • Tommie
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      Tommie Yeah I feel you, I used to feel the same way too. When Deryck was gone for 4.5 yrs and the holidays, anniversaries, valentine's day, bdays, always left me feeling so sad and lonely, and like the other ladies said, find ways and things to keep you busy okay, and remember we're all here for you okay..
      1 year ago
    • Jen
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      Jen Thank you all for the ideas and words of encouragement. I plan on going there on Christmas eve to spend the day with him. Only those who have a loved one locked up knows the pain we feel.
      1 year ago
    • Chica munoz
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      Chica munoz Hi Jen I understand what you are going thru my husband is a lifer and already put in 12yrs of hard time. It was hard for me back in 2004 it hurt our family broke us apart. Im speaking to u as a friend dont leave his side stay strong positive for your mind. I wish I would have found this support group sooner. I love how we all can relate and help our prison wives and family's. I just pray now that me and my husband move forward with our relationship. He sent us our 1st Christmas card. Prayers for us all if you want to chat i am here for u all.
      1 year ago
    • Island Girl
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      Island Girl This is the 1st year in 24 years that my husband & I will not be together for holidays:( Some days are better than others. I just try to always keep my eye on the "prize" & that''s the day he comes home! This is all temporary. Stay strong, keep busy & keep the faith XOXO
      1 year ago
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    Queen16
    Queen16 commented on Jen's picture.
    Beautiful Couple!!! Congrats!!
    1 year ago
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    Elsa
    Elsa commented on Jen's picture.
    Congratulations !!!!!!
    1 year ago
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    Babecakes2264
    Babecakes2264 commented on Jen's picture.
    Congratulations
    1 year ago
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    Mouchie
    Mouchie commented on Jen's picture.
    Congratulations!!!
    1 year ago
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    Jen
    Jen has accepted Valerie's friend request.
    1 year ago

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