KayV375

KayV375

32 years old
Female
Location
Naperville
United States
Current Status
So it's been a while since I've posted. It turns out the man I thought was the love of my life was using me to get back to his ex. I spent thousands of dollars talking care of him and visiting him. I helped him reconnect with his kids whom I fell in love

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    KayV375
    KayV375 has accepted Tommie's friend request.
    6 months ago
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    KayV375
    KayV375 So it's been a while since I've posted. It turns out the man I thought was the love of my life was using me to get back to his ex. I spent thousands of dollars talking care of him and visiting him. I helped him reconnect with his kids whom I fell in love with. The only reason I found out was because another prisoner wrote me to tell me. I had to believe him because the letters were in the same print as the letters my "fiance" had been writing to me in. I'm only sharing this to warn other females. I truly do not believe every inmate is like this and I believe most of you probably have something real. I'm also sure there's a few of you whom are so blinded by love, you can't see what's happening like I was. Either way thank you for the love and support I found here. No one in my life ever understood why I loved an inmate and of course he had to prove them all right. Hope everyone is doing well.
    6 months ago
    • kkadam
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      kkadam Thank you for sharing. I'm so sorry you had to go through this. Hopefully this will help someone else.
      6 months ago
    • twinkle
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      twinkle I'm so sorry this happened to you. Lots of love and positive thoughts going your way xx
      6 months ago
    • Tommie
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      Tommie Oh wow, I'm so sorry love, stay strong, okay, better days ahead, and ty for sharing your story and again maybe this will shed some light on what really goes on before, during and after incarceration and help someone else too.. Love ya girl, Tommie~~~.
      6 months ago
    • CBwifey
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      CBwifey I am sorry you have experienced this. Someone better is surely in the future for you.
      6 months ago
    • KayV375
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      KayV375 Thanks everyone. I would just say if you ever have doubts that your being used, don't second guess it. I did that for way too long.
      6 months ago
    • Island Girl
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      Island Girl So sorry this happened to you:( If I remember your posts correctly you were supposed to get married but didn't b/c of many things that prevented it along the way which now can be seen as a blessing in disguise! I truly believe everything happens for a reason. I agree, trust your instincts. Good luck KayV375! You are on to bigger & better things now;)
      6 months ago
    • Jade
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      Jade you should note all the red flags , to help warn lady's
      6 months ago
    • Jade
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      Jade ps karma gone get him...
      6 months ago
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    KayV375
    KayV375 Thanks everyone for the support you've given me. This was a new world that I didn't ever know I'd be part of. My fiancee decided to break up with me today. So it seems I may not be fit to be part of this group anymore. I thank everyone for their support and kindness they've shown me while I've struggled and tried to figure this all out.
    1 year ago
    • JoJo Matthews
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      JoJo Matthews So sorry to hear this. I wish nothing but great things for you!!
      1 year ago
    • Tommie
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      Tommie Omg!!!! I'm so sorry love, and that's one of the hardest things to deal with is maintaining a relationship while the other is locked up, so hopefully you'll find the strength to move on with your life and find the love, peace and happiness you so well deserve. GL to ya love.
      1 year ago
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    KayV375
    KayV375 has accepted Carma's friend request.
    1 year ago
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    KayV375
    KayV375 I'm feeling frustrated. The holidays are very lonely when you're by yourself. Though if my man was out I don't think he'd be here with me anyways, he'd be with his kids. I also found out that the state of Wisconsin took all of our marriage money that was in his account. I saved and sold things to make it happen and now I have no idea how I'm going to be able to send in that kind of money again. I never want to give up on us as I love him more than anything, but I'm barely surviving out here without him as it is. It just feels like the world is just non-stop kicking me while I'm down. I honestly don't know how much more I can take.
    1 year ago
    • View all 10 Comments
    • KayV375
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      KayV375 3 years was his out date and we didn't want to wait. I loved him so much it didn't matter that we didn't get the night together, but I guess it's all a moot point now. Thanks guys.
      1 year ago
    • Tommie
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      Tommie Hey KayV375--- First of all, if it makes a difference to you, HAPPY THANKSGIVING, to you and yours and that sucks, I've never heard of a state taking your marriage money, but hopefully something will work out and get better for you okay, prayers, and (((hugs)))).
      1 year ago
    • kkadam
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      kkadam Sorry to hear this, but why would the state have your money to get married on, and why did they take it, you need to check into that more.
      1 year ago
    • Junies girl
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      Junies girl KayV375 hi hun. I thought I would let you know that all of the Wisconsin presence have gone over to a new computer program in accounting and inmate funds. Tons of people have lost money right now, they are actually taking 100% of people's work money And money that people send in to their loved ones. The department of corrections is aware of this problem and have promised to rectify it by January 1. I will keep you in my prayers that your money gets returned
      1 year ago
    • Junies girl
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      Junies girl Hugs and love to you. ❤️
      1 year ago
    • KayV375
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      KayV375 They are taking the money to pay off fines, but when you send the money in they already take a percentage of it for that. So it's frustrating. I don't have 1,200 just laying around to send in again, but to get married in a Wisonsin prision that's how much you have to send in before you can even apply.
      1 year ago
    • sweetestlatina
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      sweetestlatina That's crazy omg 1200 bucks
      1 year ago
    • KayV375
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      KayV375 Yup tell me about it. I also have to still pay for 6 months worth of marriage counseling and the marriage license.
      1 year ago
    • kkadam
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      kkadam OMG, so when is he due to get out? I know this off too ask but would it be cheaper, and less crazy to wait till he is home? Then you two can spend your wedding night together as ahusband and wife. Ijs our relationships are already stressful as is, then the system make it worse with all the craziness they add to it, so why add more stress to it. But I pray all work out for you two
      1 year ago
    • Tommie
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      Tommie Yeah that is some crazy shit, I never knew or heard of a state doing that, ya know, woww!!.
      1 year ago
    • KayV375
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      KayV375 3 years was his out date and we didn't want to wait. I loved him so much it didn't matter that we didn't get the night together, but I guess it's all a moot point now. Thanks guys.
      1 year ago
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    KayV375
    KayV375 has accepted Queen16's friend request.
    1 year ago
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    KayV375
    KayV375 has accepted Jae's friend request.
    1 year ago
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    KayV375
    KayV375 commented on Carma's picture.
    How beautiful!!!
    1 year ago
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    KayV375
    KayV375 I'm feeling better today. We had a really good visit and communicated very well. I never thought I'd love someone so much let alone that person be in the prison system, but life has a way of keeping things interesting. I refused to be another person to give up on him in his life and I refuse to let others try to influence how I feel. I believe everything happens for a reason and I'm here and with him for some reason. Eventually things will come around and things will get easier. They have to right? I just wish time would go by a little faster as I want my man home with me. It's not easy being all alone as I'm sure a lot of you ladies know.
    1 year ago
    • Tommie
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      Tommie Hey KayV375-- That's good bc communication is the key to a healthy, strong relationship, friendship and marriage, and one of the main factors it fails. So that's good you and your love do talk and keep it that way, it may be not easy at first, but as time goes on, you'll find it easy to do, it becomes a daily ritual between the two of you, and help you deal with this separation a lot more easier too , and just to let you know, sometimes you're not gonna always be able to talk to him over the phone, bc they go on lock down in case you didn't know that. But you can spice things up a little with an email (if your state permits it), a letter, card, and let him how you feel and that you're thinking of him. So keep up the good work, have a great weekend, tc, and looking forward to hearing more from you okay..
      1 year ago
    • KayV375
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      KayV375 Thanks Tommie! I know occasionally I hear about the lock downs. We do talk in letters and I am fortunte enough to get to see him. He doesn't type unfortuntely so I know we wont ever do emails, but that's okay. As long as we can keep some form of communication open that's all I need. I'm happy to hear you are finally getting your man home soon too Tommie! I can't wait for that day to come for me too!
      1 year ago
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    KayV375
    KayV375 I'm feeling a bit frustrated. Our marriage application is taking forever to get approved and I'm worried they'll deny us over something stupid. He finally got approved to go to a minimum and I'm so proud, but he's going to be even further away from me now. On top of it all he's falling into a depression and I don't know how to help him anymore. I know the more I push the more he'll build a wall up so I don't want to push, but I want to help him so badly that's it hurts. I know the holidays are coming and he misses his children too, but I also feel like he has a lot to look forward to. I feel really alone on my side too as not only am I lonely, but life is so expensive and I'm struggling financial. I'm sure you ladies can relate. Sorry for complaining, but I appreciate anyone listening. Thanks all.
    1 year ago
    • Momma_Sann
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      Momma_Sann 💜💜Hang in there
      1 year ago
    • Misty
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      Misty We're always here to listen :) It is so hard when they put that wall up. I think you have the right idea not putting pressure on him. When my sweetie gets like that I try to keep my letters lighthearted, just talk about silly things the kids did or my day at work or something. Try to stay connected without making him feel like he's being pressured.
      1 year ago
    • Bre
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      Bre I know for Tyler and I it is hard the hole financial thing. I struggle financially too but when I tell Tyler I am struggling it makes him feel worse because he cant be here to help me. I think they all realize the financial stress of them being in prison and I do openly communicate to him when I am struggling but I dont make it a huge deal. If I make it a giant issue he starts to stress out too. I think the best thing is learning how to communicate with each other for us this has seemed to work. I hope your love gets out of his depression stage soon. Its hard on us to see them going threw a hard time and not being able to be there with them to fix whatever problem they are facing.
      1 year ago
    • KayV375
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      KayV375 Thanks ladies!!! I really appreciate the feedback! No one else I know IRL can relate.
      1 year ago
  • ×
    Tommie
    Tommie has accepted KayV375's friend request.
    1 year ago
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    KayV375
    KayV375 has accepted Dee's friend request.
    1 year ago
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    KayV375
    KayV375 has accepted tam/David wife march 2018's friend request.
    1 year ago
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    KayV375
    KayV375 Hello all. I'm new here. I have a bit of a different story. Mine started as I searched for someone I lost 17 years ago. We were high school sweethearts and separated at 15 due to a death in his family. I finally found him, but not where I expected him to be. He had a hard life and it unfortunately led him to prison. I reached out as I wanted to give him hope, but what I didn't expect is that we picked up just as we left off. We are now planning on getting married while he's in there and he has about a year and 1/2 left. I'm the complete opposite and the street life and prison life is new to me, but I don't judge. I'm trying to meet new friends and new people to talk to as I sometimes feel alone as people in my life don't understand. Thanks for letting me join your group!
    1 year ago
    • Tommie
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      Tommie Hey KayV375--- First of all, welcome to the group, and here you'll find lots of love, support, respect and encouragement, to help you get through this difficult you're facing in your life right now.. There's other groups, forums, that may be of some help to you to help you get through, feel free to ask as many questions, vent, yell, cry, scream bc we've all had them episodes b4, me included. My love is in for non violent petty charges and he's set for release this coming Nov 28th this yr, and he's been in since July 25, 2012 and he turned himself in, and I tell ya the first two yrs has been hard for the both of us, more so me, bc I've never had to do time with anyone before. How did Deryck and I meet?? Well through a mutual friend he's known longer and over a pack of cigs which I met him face to face that Monday am Jan 23, 2012 at his job and he gave me money to buy my own pack of cigs, and for 6 mos unbeknownst to me, he never let me in his criminal past 6 mos, and that's when he told me everything. But the whole weekend, and hours after he and I had met, he proposed to me, and I told him I couldn't bc at the time I was still married to someone, and when I say dead silence, you could hear a pin drop lol. And everyday b4 and after that, he's been proposing to me, and yep we're gonna tie the knot. I'm 41 as of this past Sept 11th ikr lol and he's 52, we're both from two large metropolitan cities, he was born in Trinidad Tobago and Spain and grew up in East Brooklyn (flatbush) and I'm from Detroit, MI and we met here in Roanoke, VA and we've both lived here, well me I've lived in VA but only been in Roanoke for 5 yrs since August 2011 and mos later I met Deryck. We both have kids of our own, he has two grown kids a son 25 and a daughter who will be 23 in Dec and I have 4 one girl 17, and 3 handsome boy's one getting ready to turn 14, 12, and 11 and planning to have at least one of our own. I'm unemployed for now, but I do attend school for Health Records Coding and also taking non credit classes as well to go alongside with what I'm majoring in, and looking to graduate next spring and our wedding is set for Sept and it's gonna be a summer bbq potluck wedding/recption. The colors?? All pastels.. In fact our rings should be here any day now. This journey hasn't been easy for either of us, he's done time b4, but fighting to keep us together, that's new to him bc he has always thought about 'him" and that's it and kept a lot of skeletons in his closet. When he was stressed, he'd drink, A LOT, and now he's 4 yrs clean and sober, was never been violent towards me and the kids. In fact, b4 I met him, I was with someone like that for 9 yrs 2002-11 and I met Deryck in the process of healing and I as I said to you b4, I was married b4, but not with my abuser, my ex, and the father of my younger two boy's. So now that part of my life has been closed, and now this chapter is about to close too, and I tell ya, some of the women has really inspired me in more ways than one, bc they've helped me look at my situation then I ever did. and I really appreciate them for doing that, to not give up on my love, my king, bc that's what our men need/want in their lives, a strong woman who's able to overcome any obstacle that we're faced with, so I feel lucky to have them in my life.. Sorry for the long post, hope you have a great weekend, tc and ttys love.. Love ya girl, Tommie~~~~.
      1 year ago

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