momof2

momof2

34 years old
Female
Current Status
Good evening everyone! Just wanted to vent a little. My SO has been in the hole since Nov 1st, last I got to talk to him was Oct 29th and I have only gotten 1 letter from him this whole time which was about 3 weeks ago. I'm trying not to get frustrated
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    momof2
    momof2 Good evening everyone! Just wanted to vent a little. My SO has been in the hole since Nov 1st, last I got to talk to him was Oct 29th and I have only gotten 1 letter from him this whole time which was about 3 weeks ago. I'm trying not to get frustrated and be open to the possibility that it is because maybe they are limited to writing supplies or what not but each day I check the mail hoping for a letter and nothing makes it harder. Idk it's already hard enough knowing he will be in there for 90 days and our only form of communication is letters and then not getting any really sucks :-(! I have written 5 so far ugh! I just want to hear from him and see how he is doing. The unknown makes a million and one thoughts run thru my head. But anyways thanks for letting me rant and rave. Hope everyone has a good night.
    6 days ago
    • View all 3 Comments
    • momof2
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      momof2 Thanks guys! I feel better after venting and after reading you guys' reply. Ya those options also crossed my head and then it makes me worry that he hasn't gotten any of my letters and is feeling even more down thinking I'm not writing and it sucks that I will have no idea of he has gotten anything until he does write back. I feel bad for even being frustrated because it's gotta be even harder being in the hole and here I am with my freedom and upset that I haven't received a letter.
      5 days ago
    • Jalynn
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      Jalynn I feel you, been there done that. I'm glad you realize that there could be valid reasons as to why you may not be getting mail. It's sometimes easy to be frustrated and upset with them because we want and need to hear from them. I know it's hard to not worry about why you've not heard from him. I hope venting helped you feel a little bit better and I hope you get a letter soon.
      6 days ago
    • Admin JoJo Matthews
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      Admin JoJo Matthews Yikes I’m so sorry being in the hole sucks. I just had a little freak out because my man had not called yet. I know the thoughts running through your head. The thing is maybe he does have limited supplies like you said, maybe he’s just really down and you will hear from him soon. Just keep sending him mail. Also his mail may be lost in the barrage of mail I’m sure is flooding the facility. Anyway I hope you hear from him soon.
      5 days ago
    • momof2
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      momof2 Thanks guys! I feel better after venting and after reading you guys' reply. Ya those options also crossed my head and then it makes me worry that he hasn't gotten any of my letters and is feeling even more down thinking I'm not writing and it sucks that I will have no idea of he has gotten anything until he does write back. I feel bad for even being frustrated because it's gotta be even harder being in the hole and here I am with my freedom and upset that I haven't received a letter.
      5 days ago
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    momof2
    momof2 Good evening everyone! I was just wondering how others cope while their SO is in the hole. My SO has been in the hole 2x since August which was the last time I got to see him. The first time was bc they thought he did something he didn't. Was in for 30 days and then had his visits taken away for a total of 90 days. Then the idiot(not nice but a little upset with him) 2 weeks before visits were about to resume decided to get into a fight and is now back in the hole. This time for 90 days and then when he does finally get out he will probably lose his visits again for 90 more days. No phone calls for the 90 days while he is in the hole and so only contact is thru letters if he can get ahold of paper/pen. So when all said and done i will not be able to see him, hug/kiss him for almost 10 months.
    24 days ago
    • View all 3 Comments
    • momof2
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      momof2 oh shedevilgoth i am so sorry to hear you haven't heard from your husband in weeks! And not knowing why is the worst! hope you hear from him soon!!! Thank you both so much! I try to my best to keep my mind busy and for the most part during the day my kids help with that lol. its after they go to bed, or the few minutes I have to myself in the shower that my mind just goes and my emotions run. I'm really trying not to be to hard on him because you're right i don't know why he had to fight. He did try his best to explain in the letter that it was a situation where it was him defending himself, which I am thankful he was open about it. idk i guess it's just hard because I think for us, definitely for myself, I think seriously why cause any more issues don't you wanna come home? he is already serving a 13-26 year sentence with possibly of parole at 13 years. So each time something like this happens I fear it will look bad when the possibility of parole comes up on top of it taking contact away for so long.
      23 days ago
    • Shedevilgoth
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      Shedevilgoth Hello, although my husband isn’t in the hole (as far as I know!) I haven’t had contact at all with him for weeks now, no letters nothing. I try and keep busy, do things with my children, it’s good Christmas is nearly here because there’s extra things to get sorted etc. Yes I still have down days and feel completely rubbish but have found keeping busy helps. Try and meet up with friends too. I found that helps. Even if it’s just to go for a coffee etc whatever makes the days pass. Maybe take up a hobbie? Idk I hope this helps, much love x
      24 days ago
    • Admin JoJo Matthews
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      Admin JoJo Matthews Hi, keeping busy is your best bet. Don’t be to hard on him you don’t know why he had to fight. Sometimes they are backed into corners and have not choice but to fight. Praying times goes by quickly and he doesn’t lose visits for that long.
      24 days ago
    • momof2
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      momof2 oh shedevilgoth i am so sorry to hear you haven't heard from your husband in weeks! And not knowing why is the worst! hope you hear from him soon!!! Thank you both so much! I try to my best to keep my mind busy and for the most part during the day my kids help with that lol. its after they go to bed, or the few minutes I have to myself in the shower that my mind just goes and my emotions run. I'm really trying not to be to hard on him because you're right i don't know why he had to fight. He did try his best to explain in the letter that it was a situation where it was him defending himself, which I am thankful he was open about it. idk i guess it's just hard because I think for us, definitely for myself, I think seriously why cause any more issues don't you wanna come home? he is already serving a 13-26 year sentence with possibly of parole at 13 years. So each time something like this happens I fear it will look bad when the possibility of parole comes up on top of it taking contact away for so long.
      23 days ago
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    momof2
    momof2 Looking for advice....this is a long story but let me try to shorten it up. When I found out I was pregnant and told my daughter's dad he slowly slipped away bc he just wasn't ready and used excuses saying I was to blame. I kept him up to date of all appt and when she was born. While in labor kept him updated as much as possible he did show up but after she was born. While there got mad bc she didn't have his last name which I made very clear that if he was around she would get it, if not then she would have my last name. I told him if he wasn't there to enjoy the moment then he could leave bc he wasn't going to ruin the moment so he walked out and I never heard from him. When she was 6 months old he did something stupid which has landed him in jail for the next 10 years (sentence is 13-26). Anyway to get closer to the point when she was almost 3 he reached out and we have been talking ever since. My daughter just turned 4 yesterday so this was almost a year ago. He has asked about her coming and I explained my side and he understood. Well we are currently on vacation and I have sent him emails each night talking about our day thinking he would enjoy that. Well I get an email back and he is basically mad bc she can go to all these places and whatnot but why can't she come see me. And I've explained to him that she is a very shy child, gets scared around men, doesn't like unfamiliar building a full of ppl she doesn't know and that I will absolutely bring her when it's best for her....sorry I could continue and prob explain better if I did but I've already been long winded. My question is has anyone experienced anything like this. Where your child has never meet their father and is still young and isn't at the point where she is like "all the other kids have dad's where is mine". Would you take your child to the jail and put them thru all of that now or would you wait until they are a little older and understanding. Thanks in advance
    4 months ago
    • Anna
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      Anna I think you can't look at the situation of whether your child should know her dad. I think you should think about whether you want her to know her dad. If he's an unstable individual and causes you problems you should keep her away from him. If she asks when she is older you can tell her about her father and tell her it's up to her if she wants to see him if you still want them to know each other and are willing to have him be a part of her life
      4 months ago
    • Admin JoJo Matthews
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      Admin JoJo Matthews He didn't want to be a part of her life in the beginnings for hasn't been since. You do this on YOUR time you take her when you feel she is ready. Don't let him bully or guilt you in to taking her, it could be a traumatic experience
      4 months ago
    • Admin JoJo Matthews
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      Admin JoJo Matthews Sorry continuing on explain to him that a parent doesn't what's best for their child no matter how it makes them feel.
      4 months ago
    • twinkle
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      twinkle Trust your instincts in this situation. If you feel that taking your little girl to visit him right now would be emotionally damaging to her then don't do it. Maybe he really does want to meet her and that is where his anger is coming from however if he understood your reasons for asking him to wait until she is older before now I’m sure that he will again. We can all lash out and say things that we don’t mean and maybe that is what he is doing now.
      4 months ago
    • QueenSuga
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      QueenSuga me or my daughter wouldnt have nothing to do with him,at all ever,he didnt want anything to do with her until he went to prison sounds like,i hate to sound harsh but as far as i knew,i heard he passed away is what i would say.but thats me.
      4 months ago
    • momof2
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      momof2 Thank you all so very much for the responses!
      4 months ago
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    momof2
    momof2 Good evening everyone, I'm new to all of this and just had a few questions about what can be sent in the mail and if anyone has a SO in sci coal township pa. Have you ever sent a heart shaped piece of paper, colored paper (i know the envelopes can't be colored), or multiple letters inside a manilla envelope? I wanted to surprise my SO with a cure little letter on a heart shaped paper once a day starting Feb 1st til valentine's day and have them all ready to go. He was in camp hill and when I called them the person from the mailroom said it was all ok but he just got moved to sci coal township and the lady I talked to said no. So now I'm confused
    10 months ago
    • View all 6 Comments
    • momof2
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      momof2 Just wanted to let everyone know i was able to get ahold of someone in the mailroom at coal township and I'm so happy she said all that is allowed :-)! just no adhesives or tape. now I won't have to redo everything. again thanks everyone for responding and for the suggestions!!!!
      10 months ago
    • KNB
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      KNB sorry can't help with your question but perhaps if you post your question in the pa state forum someone may be able to better help you :)
      10 months ago
    • Em
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      Em you're best bet is to call the jail and talk to the mail room directly. I had issues with sending in certain type of paper because they were sometimes excepted and other times sent back . it was frustrating enough i called and had to raise a stink about it. Granted it was a different jail but still pa. Hope this is helpful =)
      10 months ago
    • Admin LaSann
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      Admin LaSann Each facility is different....y advice is to call them and ask
      10 months ago
    • momof2
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      momof2 Thanks everyone very much!
      10 months ago
    • Stine
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      Stine my mans was in coal township..i can ask him...but yes i would call the mail room and check their guidelines
      10 months ago
    • momof2
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      momof2 Just wanted to let everyone know i was able to get ahold of someone in the mailroom at coal township and I'm so happy she said all that is allowed :-)! just no adhesives or tape. now I won't have to redo everything. again thanks everyone for responding and for the suggestions!!!!
      10 months ago
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    momof2
    momof2 joined Strong Prison Wives & Families
    10 months ago

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